The Fox Den

MBLGTACC 2012 - This is why

Well, MBLGTACC was amazing as usual. Every year I've been to this conference, I've wondered why I'm still going, especially since the conference is not particularly kink-geared. This year I had a more legitamate purpose - I attended as a business professional. I did a couple workshops to give people a sample of what my speeches are all about, and I also advertized at my booth for one loooooooooooong day at the Exhibitor Fair from 10am-6pm on Saturday. Seriously. 8 hours, and the traffic was non-stop!

I spoke to more students, activists, faculty, advisers and staff members than I can even count. Thank you all so much for your support and enthusiasm, for stopping by my booth, for being friendly, for asking questions, and for being courageous enough to speak to a boy in rubber. I was kind of nervous about the Exhibitor Fair, because from previous conferences, I could never remember a speaker renting a table out to try to book gigs. But I can't even count the number of students and schools who came by, asking me about my prices and my available dates! It was almost overwhelming. While at the table, I also told people about the workshop I was presenting on Sunday morning, as a preview or sample of what I can do at their schools if booked. I'm proud to say that the classroom my session was in was completely full with people sitting on the floor, but they also had to shut the doors to more attendees because it was creating a fire hazzard. :(

And by the way, for those of you who took pictures of/with me, please e-mail them to me. 

I really, really love this conference. The energy, enthusiasm, and optimism of college students is envigorating to me. Traveling down this road toward becoming a public speaker hasn't been easy. Busy work schedules, late nights, time away from my Minneapolis crew, and the expenses all add up. I've missed two MPLS Eagle Gear Nights in a row now! ERGH!

But going to this conference is refreshing, to say the least. I have a renewed sense of determination to press on. This morning, I presented a 90 minute workshop on "Debunking Myths about BDSM", and this afternoon, here's an e-mail I received (posted with author's permission):

"Hey!

It's **********, the kid with the pink shirt who wouldn’t shut up during your Sunday morning session. I just wanted to say again how inspiring your workshop was. I’ve had some limited kink experience, but nothing more than a couple isolated scenes with random people from recon, and certainly nothing like some of what you described in the workshop and on your blog (yes, I’ve been creeping). Initially your workshop made me a little uncomfortable, and I spent the better part of the bus ride back to my college thinking about why. I came to the conclusion that despite how out, proud and self-affirming I’d like to think myself, I really do feel ashamed about that part of my sexuality. Seeing a presentation discuss so openly what for me was such an intensely personal and private topic (that more or less lives on the internet in my world) felt like a challenge to my own internalized oppression. I’ve unknowingly been telling myself that this part of me was rightly a dirty secret that shouldn’t leave the realm of Recon; if people knew about this part of my sexual expression, how could I be a role model for my peers? I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I actually have been thinking myself a pervert because of these desires.

Anyway, I could bitch and moan about myself for pages, but I guess I just wanted to say that the work you’re doing is really important and that your presence at an otherwise “vanilla” conference was affirming and validating in such a meaningful way for anyone with a dirty secret. It’s so easy to dismiss stigma against kink as trivial, but for the people affected by it I think it’s a lot more oppressive than anyone really realizes. Your passion in the workshop was nothing less than inspiring, and I wish I could find community for this part of my life like you have. So I guess now comes the awkward ending to an awkward email. Thanks so much for your workshop and your openness."

This is why it's important for kinky people to be present as activists everywhere, not just in kinky forums. This is why it's important for us to challenge what "sexual orientation" really is. This is why it's important for us to be outspoken about the lives we lead and the dreams that we share. This is why conferences like MBLGTACC are so, so important.

This is why we need to always remember to love ourselves, and to pass that feeling on to others.

Events!

Wow, sorry to leave you all hanging! My life's been a whirlwind the past couple of weeks. Things have picked up so far in 2012, and I'm going to have to learn how to find time to write in between all the events that I'm either attending or being a part of!

UMSL - Thank you so much. I won't lie, I was kind of nervous, but the event turned out to be a huge success. I need to say a huge, huge thank you to Erin Potts with the University Program Board at UMSL for working so hard to bring in a huge turn out. There were about 200 people there! And I also want to say a big thanks to the fans of this blog, and others who came out to see me perform. It was really moving, thank you all for saying hello! Thanks to the entire audience for laughing at my jokes. 

February is going to be a busy, busy month. I guess there's no rest for the wicked? 

MBLGTACC! - That's right, I'm headed back to MBLGTACC, next week in fact. 2/10-2/12 at Iowa State University in Ames. I love this conference, and the energy it brings. Over 2000 GLBTQAI college students will attend, and I'm so pumped about it! You can see me there doing one workshop, twice:

Debunking Myths about BDSM: Saturday 8am-9am, Memorial Union Pioneer Room
                                             Sunday 9:15am-10:45am, Memorial Union Gallery Room

On Saturday from 10am-6pm, I will be hosting a table in the Exhibitor Fair! Come by and find out more about my speaking gigs, or just say hello, ask me questions abut kink, and relax a little. The exhibit hall will be in Memorial Union, South Ballroom.

Twin Cities Leather Week - OMG It's almost here! I'm proud to say that I've been asked/chosen to be a judge for this years' event, so I will be on the panel deciding the next Mr. and Ms. TCL! How cool is that? There are way too many events for me to post here about this, but go check out the website and look through the entire week (yes a whole WEEK!) worth of events! Last year, there was a really great turn out and I'm only expecting this year to be even better. Please plan on being around, and consider entering as a contestant!

Then at the end of the month, I have a "private" event in Denver. ;)

March is going to bring along my next gig, at Indiana University - East, and then NACA Northern Plains in St. Paul!

But amidst all the chaos, my readers, I won't forget about you. I'll keep writing and sharing my insights for you. If YOU have any events coming up that YOU would like to share, you should send them to me and I'll post them here!

MAL Highlights

I'm finally recovered from a really, really EPIC weekend in DC.

Last year, MAL was held at the Hyatt Regency in DC for the first time, and there were a few problems that attendees chose to be vocal about. This year was just really, really awesome from start to finish. I'm not one to complain much, so I don't care about many of those smaller details, but even I can appreciate the lengths the Centaurs went to to make sure things were smooth this year. I appreciate all of them and their awesome club so much!

I want to say thank you to everyone's encouragement and for following my live-blogging on Leatherati. It's not easy for me to be able to keep up and type that fast during the events and the press conferences, but I know that there are plenty of you at home, pounding "refresh", reading what I have to say and wishing you were there. I'm just glad I can give something back. 

I don't know what's gotten into me lately, but I've been sniffing for a good time for a while, and I ended up playing more at MAL than I ever have before at an event. The scenes were really hot. A fox doesn't kiss and tell! I will mention, though, that when a hotel is U shaped, it's important to remember to shut the curtains before you play, otherwise you might just end up with an audience staring through windows on the other side of the complex. That, and that I need to be flagging more colors (on the appropriate sides, of course).

There was a huge attendence from Minnesota for the weekend; probably the biggest non-IML turn out at an event I've seen. It was great to show our brotherhood together, to cheer for Jayson Glynn as he carried the Aton's flag in the parade of colors, show off our kinky creations and blab about how awesome we are. 

The contest was pretty sweet! The new Mr. MAL is pretty sexy, I'm sure he'll fill the role well. One of my favorite portions, though, was the stepdown speech of the outgoing Mr. MAL, Doug Pamplin. His parents were sitting in the audience for the entire contest, and during his speech, he announced this and invited them up on stage with him. His PARENTS. That was an amazing moment; I can only wish I could have that kind of support from my parents.

It was great to meet some new friends and reconnect with some old ones. Events like these make me realize how lucky I really am to be a part of this at 27 years old. I don't take it for granted; I know a lot of guys don't get these experiences until much later in life. It makes me very, very thankful for my leather family.

I flew back on Monday and immediately went to work for a couple shifts, back to back. A couple days off to recover, sort of, but my event at UMSL is right around the corner next week on Wednesday! And I have to work all weekend. I guess there's no rest for the wicked.

Live Blogging MAL 2012!

So I don't think I ever announced it on here, but I'm going to MAL! As I write this, I'm currently in flight to DCA. So pumped to see everyone, it feels like its been forever!

And to make things even better and to show my leather love to the world, I'm live-blogging once again for Leatherati. Go check out Leatherati.com and click on "Leatherati Live" to see my interviews, introductions, press releases, excursions, and hook ups! (Oh, I mean, forget that last one.)

Will keep you updated as the drama unfolds.

It's Working

For those of you who have only recently joined this blog and/or may have not read every single word dating back two and a half years ago, let me rehash why I started writing in the first place. 

I was looking at Recon profiles and blogs for years, and reading about all the hot experiences guys have, wishing it were me. They all seemed to be from guys who either lived in the Northeast or the West coasts. Years of looking at all these profiles and seeing things that I didn't have, yet wanting so badly resulted in giving me a complex of feeling powerless to change anything about my kinky life. And I thought to myself, yes, I've played, but not like that....

.....but I've played. I thought about it more and more, and I realized; I've been doing bondage since I was 18. Despite living in the middle of nowhere in college, I played a LOT. I found guys out there on sites and went for more weekend excursions than I remember (fortunately, most of them had photographic evidence). Maybe the pictures weren't as hot as the ones I've seen by other guys and maybe I didn't have a whole room full of gear and a dungeon of my own, but for being 25 years old, I have a pretty fucking kinky life! There's no reason I shouldn't be proud of it.

Moreover, there's no reason that anyone else can't have it. Maybe if I wrote about my own life, others won't feel so inhibited to get out there and play while they're younger. Grab your kinky life by the balls, kinkster, because you're not the only college boy dying to break into this. 

I've been pouring my life out to you all through this site in the hope that someone, somewhere is reading it and feeling like they're not alone. I track my stats a little bit so I know I have plenty of readers, but being that the blog really isn't that old (only 2ish years), I'm sure there's an impact yet to be made. 

But it's working. 

This weekend, MPLSGuy invited me up to help entertain a couple boys visiting him from Florida. FLABound and FlyBoyFL came up for their first big kinky excursion. It was an absolutely perfect weekend. There was a LOT of play, a tour of Minneapolis dungeons (thanks to MPLSGuy, b1point5, and Pterodactyl), good food, great laughs, EPIC bondage scenes (thanks to all our hosts and my partner in crime, PupTrigger), awesome nights at the bar, and a wonderful feeling of family with two really hot, young guys. As I sit here and write this on Monday evening, I feel a little bit like IML just ended. I'm kind of on cloud nine from these guys. 

On top of it all, the boys couldn't stop gushing over how excited they were to meet me. It was almost embarrassing how much they treated me like some kind of celebrity all weekend. I hadn't really talked to them on Recon or anything before meeting them this weekend, but they both told me how long they've been reading my blog for and how inspiring it was to them. Without the words and experiences I've written about here, they both told me that they would never have had the courage to dive in deeper or to go fly off to visit a dom for a kinky weekend. They were both too nervous to ever chat with me before, but they both said, "Reading your words gave us hope, and courage."

I'm not telling all of this just to blow my own horn. Fuck the fame, the fortune, the power, or the glory. That's not what this blog is about. I'm just so proud that I'm already somehow meeting the greatest goal that I ever set out for myself in this little spot on the web. I'm not here to be a celebrity. I'm just a regular guy! But I'm so, so proud that the words I've written are already having an impact on lives, somewhere.

But it's not just my words. More and more blogs, tumblrs, and twitters have been popping up from kinky, younger guys all over the country. People like TallGlassOfOJ, KinkyBoiNick, AlphaPupAlpine, BenInLeatherLand, JohnnyGear, VagaBondageBoy, PupSkoll, LeatherBondageLove, AllAmericanKinkster and RubberFreak are all pouring their kinky hearts, souls, and lives out for all the world to understand. These are all pivotal for our entire community. The more we share our own lives, the less isolated we'll feel, the more kinksters will come out, the stronger our community will be, and the more family we have.

To FLABound and FlyBoyFL, thanks for an awesome weekend, thanks for reading, and thanks for having the courage to take a leap of faith.

And to all the other blogging, tweeting, and tumblring kinksters out there,
Keep playing.
Keep traveling.
Keep photographing.
Keep writing.
Keep reading.
Keep living. 
Keep loving.

We're reaching them. It's working. 

Last night, and Mr/s.Twin Cities Leather!

Last night was like a weird, fucked up dream. I made the last minute decision to drive up to Minneapolis to go to a nice, calm, social holiday party at Cockpit Minneapolis. Which happened. But then the following ended up happening as well:

- Had a few drinks, and went over to The Saloon (twink/vanilla gay bar) in my full leathers
- Got in a fight with a drunk, combative twink who was trying to start drama
- Found and caught up with my leather friend, BlackLeatherChazz 
- Together with PupTrigger, stood up for my leather brother, WillCo68, when said twink tried to start even MORE drama
- Got winked at by Janice Dickenson (yes, the real, celebrity Janice Dickenson was at The Saloon) in my full leathers. She was so drunk her gays were holding her up; she'll never remember anything from last night
- Went home with, and fisted WillCo68, only to wake up naked, hung over, covered in dried sweat, dirt, cum, piss, and j-lube and laying next to a similarly naked indigenous person.

So my night went from holiday party with santa hats and Christmas decorations to leathers to fighting with angry twinks to random celebrity encounters to really hot kinky sex and a glorius morning after.

Have I yet mentioned that I fucking LOVE Minneapolis?

And on that note.....Mr/s Twin Cities Leather is coming up in February! That's right. This year, Twin Cities Leather will be holding TWO contests so that we can send representation to both IML and IMsL! How sweet is that?? Last year's event was a huge success and well attended. I'm soooooo pumped for the whole thing this year!

This event in my hometown has great appeal for people who are looking for a smaller, low cost event with more of a "family" "local" community feel to it. Holiday spending keeping you from going to MAL? Well think about flying out and having a fun, action packed, yet low-key time with your leather friends and family in Minneapolis! Check out the pictures on Leatherati Live to see pics from last year's event and also search through for my live blogging to get a preview of the awesomeness to come!

And if you're from anywhere in the 5 states region (North Dakota, South Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa) you should consider being a contestant! Running for a title is a life changing experience. Don't be afraid of not having a voice before you compete; you'll probably find it along the way. Enter the contest and be our proud representative at IML or IMsL!

All the information and application is on http://www.mrtcl.org/. Events will be occuring February 15th through 20th, look at the calendar for more details! I really hope I see a lot of you there!

What I want for Christmas

This post is way late in coming. I've been off the road now for about a month, sort of. I had my last NACA convention, NACA Mid-America, about a month ago. Ever since, I've been catching up on hours at work, sending follow up e-mails, and I made a five day trip to St. Louis to visit family for the holidays. So I was kind of excited for things to slow down just a tad by getting off the road for a month, but I guess it didn't really happen. It's really fine though, I like stayinig busy and chaotic.

It's hard to believe I'm done going to the NACA conventions for a while. What a ride it was. Mid-America was great in Cincinnati. Lots of schools, lots of connections, and lots of leads. The whole thing was great just because of the incredible enthusiasm all the students showed. Going to NACA overall helped me grow as a person to; I've been able to find my own voice as a speaker, a kinkster, and a blogger. But NACA Mid-America was extra special for one very cool reason. It led me to become introduced to the students at University of Missouri - St. Louis, and in the end, I have a booking with them!

If you're an UMSL student, be sure to come and see me on January 25th, 7pm, at the Pilot House in the Millenium Student Center. It'll be very exciting to get to perform at UMSL, being a St. Louis native. Check out the Facebook Event here.

A special shout out/thank you to Jmat for helping me out at NACA Mid-America, being my cheauffer, and letting me stay at his place in Cincinnati during the convention. Oh yeah, and for helping me avert disaster when I had a latexplosion.

So it's Thursday night, at NACA. We had set up our booth earlier in the day, I'd been wearing my Mr. S Rubber jeans most of the night. Had dinner with Bowling Green State U in my latex and then jetted off to the booth to put some finishing touches on it. Overhead, the Marketplace coordinator announces, "Attention Associates, the Marketplace will be opening in one minute." Thank you, one minute. I squatted down to grab a breathmint from a box that I had hidden under my table. I was squatting for a total of about 6 seconds when the back end of my pants SNAPPED and I felt air hit my bare ass crack!

I immediately stood up and turned my back to the aisle and backed up against the rear curtain/wall of my booth. Smiling, trying not to panic, I said to Jmat with a quiver in my voice, "Oooooh no! We have a problem! A big one!"

"What?" he says, stopping whatever he was doing. Then he sees me clutching my ass, and like a good producer, starts laughing at me and takes a picture before helping.

Next is the panic of what to do. What do we do what do we do what do we do! And then of course the announcer comes over the speakers, "Attention Associates, the marketplace is now OPEN!" Perfect timing. Random Associates applaud. I'm still smiling because it's hilarious that my ass is hanging out, but secretly envisioning being thrown out of NACA and banned forever for being indecent in the marketplace. Bear in mind, this was the only thing I wore/brought with me to the marketplace; I didn't really have any recourse!

Jmat, being the calm, cool, collected Producer that he is, came up with a solution. He took my grey bandanna, which I had been wearing on my left arm to flag, and stuffed it down the newly created crack in my jeans:

See the students walking by in the aisle? ARGH! This was the first marketplace of the weekend! There was no time to mourn the damage to the pants or express any anger. I had to keep that smile pasted on and try to pitch/sell myself to students as if nothing was wrong. That was a new challenge for me. I took a few pics with some random students who asked for them...all the time keeping my back to them.

Marketplace closes. It was pretty successful, and I don't think anyone noticed my ass hanging out. Thank god. Jmat drives me back to his place, where we promptly have a toast to the fallen rubber jeans.

*le sigh* Please keep in mind how tight those jeans fit on me (or rather, used to fit on me). As I stood there for over an hour, unable to change and no time to take them off, the tightness of the latex hugging my theighs made the rip worse, and worse, and worse. Here's a pic of how they look now, and I have to say, I think that they're beyond repair. The rip goes all the way from the beltloop down the ass just next to the seam and nearly completely splits through the seam in the crotch. I can't believe it almost broke through a double layered glued seam.

 

And there you have it. This could be the end of the Mr. S Rubber jeans. Kinda sucks, I only had them for a little over a year. Granted, they are/were one of my favorite pieces of latex and I wore them quite a bit in that year, but come on. I think they should have/could have lasted a little longer than just one year. 

Oh yeah, and I forgot the kicker of the story. That night we went out to The Serpent in Cincinnati, which is their leather/kink bar. While we were out there, my Mr. S shirt snapped! ARGH! Two pieces in one day!

It's just as well that it happened when it did; November to March is definitely the OFF season for latex in Minneapolis. Too damn cold. But it looks like I'm going to need a new pair of latex pants. Any suggestions on vendors? I love Mr. S, but after my catsuit exploding, these pants AND my shirt exploding, I'm probably a bit more hesitant to buy from them in the future. I support Mr. S and everything they do, and I love their bondage gear and their leathers a lot! But grrrrr. Three pieces gone now. 

So, suggestions on a new vendor? And don't say "EBay". I'm forever banned from using Paypal, hence EBay is pretty much not an option.

It's all I want for Christmas!

 

PS: It's Gear Night at the Minneapolis Eagle tonight! I'll be there for the first time in what seems like FOREVER. Get your gear on and see you there!

MIR Recap

OMG. It was fabulous.

I arrived on Thursday night and immediately met a flurry of activity. I stopped by the community center to speak to a friend of mine and saw the set up activities.  Those vendors and the Chicago rubbermen were working hard.

Friday was a fabulous kick off to the kink market. It was really very full! Lots of vendors around selling their rubber wear from around the world. I particularly enjoyed the display by Full Kit Gear of Boston, MA. Unfortunately they don't have a store website up yet, but I really enjoyed their color variations on blue, red, green...their latex was very unique! I'll definitely be keeping up with their website to see when they've posted a store.  RECON also debuted their new line of signature latex, which honestly, looked pretty hot! TLS and E7 were there as well showing their always fabulous wear.

One of my favorite parts of the kink market is the demo pit, including gear provided by KinkRubber. RubberKai was the demo pit coordinator this year, and he did a fabulous job of starting and maintaining scenes, encouraging people to try something new, and keep the energy levels high.  RubberKai is also a member of the Chicago Rubbermen, whom, by the way, I cannot say enough about! The members of that group pour a lot of their time and energy into producing an absolutely amazing event, and to dedicate the amount of time and energy they have deserves a gigantic rubber Thank You from all of us.

After wandering, shopping, meeting up with old friends, trying on a few pieces of gear, and having a beverage or two, I was off to the Greet the Meat cocktail party prior to the first half of the contest on Friday night.  It was a lot of fun to get to see some of the contestants that I competed with last year, like a little reunion.  After a few drinks, the contestants all drew their numbers to determine their order of competition on stage.

The Friday Night contest included the Rubber Image portion (also known as the runway walk) and the return of everyone's favorite, the Wet Rubber contest! I'm so glad they brought back wet rubber. I didn't get to do it as I competed last year, but it was so fun to see all those hot boys on stage, having their rubber fantasies read while they posed and looked delicious under a shower in the community center.

And speaking of contestants, I have to say, this year's pool was really great! Some very hot, well accomplished guys.  8 of them, all of them were titleholders.  There would have been 9 contestants, however, Roger mentioned to me that Mr. Rubber Netherlands couldn't get a visa to get out of the country, despite having a passport. Sounds like a major paperwork fail. :(

For more details about the contest or the individual performances, you should look at my live blogging on Leatherati Live.

After the contest this year, there was a "Strict Rubber Dresscode" party, aka play party, at a private 3,000 sq. ft. dungeon in an undisclosed location. THAT was definitely a blast. Lots to do, lots of people to meet and do. I really hope they do this again next year, because it was totally epic and something that I think a lot of guys missed.

After I stumbled out of bed on Saturday morning, I went up to the kink market to do a demo with PupSkoll. I mummified him for the crowd, and let Kai drag him all around the vendor market on a tour. :) Shortly after this got done with, there was the annual puppy rumpus, which is always a blast to watch. I think there were about 9 or 10 pups in the pit, with several different handlers around taking good care of their dogs.

I couldn't stay and watch that long because I participated in a panel discussion at 3pm with PupNitro of Atlanta and RubberCannuck of Vancouver, on the topic of "Building Communities".  Both of these other two panelists have a great amount of experience with bringing new and curious members in and making them feel welcome, and even though it was only scheduled thorugh 4pm, we continued to speak amongst ourselves as well as the attendees until around 4:45.  We had too many good ideas flowing, it was great to have that kind of energy!

I grabbed a quick bite and got a rubber massage by the masseur in the vendor market, and then I was off to the Leather Cocktails/Black Carpet affair before the contest on Saturday night.  Cocktails was uneventful, but still very relaxing. :)  The contest on Saturday was fantastic.  The contestants and Roger performed a parody of Lady Gaga's "Alejandro".  Anything I might write about it won't be doing it justice, so I'm just going to pass and allow you all to wait until the video comes out in the coming weeks.  It. Was. Epic.  

I live blogged the contest on Saturday night which went swimmingly. The two portions this night were the onstage question which all contestants had to answer, and they all did a spectacular job. The next portion included the "Mystery Bag".  Each contestant had to make up a kink scene on the spot, using everyday objects from a bag they had to choose at random. Can I just take a moment to say that I love the contest? It's so entertaining. I blogged my rubber fingers off so if you want more specific details, check out Leatherati Live.

I love our winner.  Si Hands is a great rubberman from the UK, our first ever winner from the UK.  He even came to my panel discussion earlier about building communities.  His passion for this rubber life shows through and through. And he's really hot too!

Afterward, I went to Jackhammer/the Hole for the RECON party. I really can't say enough about the staff/bouncers at Jackhammer. They were kicking out people in cotton to make more room for the rubberboys waiting once the line started to get long. The party was crowded, well attended, and there, my details will cease. A fox doesn't kiss and tell. ;)

Sunday, I again rolled out of bed and made my way back to the vendor market. I made it just in time for the Lube Wrestling contest and got to say some goodbyes to some dear friends. It's always so sad to say goodbye; the weekend goes by way too fast. Some of these rubber family I only see once a year and having to say goodbye to them makes me kinda sad, but we'll all be here to do it again next year.

And on that note, congratulations to MIR for being in their 15th anniversary! In the intermission of the contest on Friday night, they served complimentary champagne to toast this milestone birthday. Here's my toast: "Here's to 15 years of rubber contests, and here's to another 15 years, so I can STILL be coming here before I turn 45!"

The vendor market closed, I cried a little, and then I was off to SIdetrack for slushies, rubber showtunes, friends, goodbyes, gay music, and fun.  *le sigh* I always wish they would play a bit younger music there. I don't care if it makes me a bad gay, but I don't know most of the songs that they play. :(

I had a beautiful end to a beautiful weekend at a play party in the apartment with one of my good friends. I met him when he was 19 and he went to one of my workshops at MBLGTACC.  Just a few years later, he's been to IML, MIR, and hosting play parties. I couldn't be prouder.

To everyone who came and made the weekend a fantastic time, thank you. It just shows how many of us there are from all corners of the world! To everyone who couldn't make it, stand strong kinksters! Hope my recap was enough to convince you that attending would be a good idea for next year. :)  MIR was my first big event I ever went to 4 years ago, and I go back every year now. I'm so happy to be a part of a rubber family. 

With that, it was over, and I'm already missing it.  Is it November 2012 yet?

NACA - The Journey so Far

Yeah, I'd say I was right in my previous post.  My life HAS changed forever.  

I thought I would just meet maybe one or two schools at each conference and see if I could get a little bit of interest, and talk to some people here or there...I wasn't really expecting anything major, and if anything, I was expecting to be somewhat outcast and not so wholly embraced.  Boy was I wrong.

Everyone, NACA, the schools, their advisers, the hotel, and everyone in between was truly and honestly interested.  People were friendly, I never heard one negative comment, and I got a ton of really great leads and contact information.

In the last week, I:

Was up by 8 and not in bed until after 1,
Wore latex for 16 hours per day for 6 days,
Met students or staff at over 40 schools,
Handed out 150 biographies and 200 business cards,
Shook about 170 hands,
Maintained my sanity, somehow.

Despite all the good things, I did watch a few unfortunate circumstances. A couple campus delegates had some arguments over whether or not bringing a kink-positive speaker to their campus was a good idea.  All I can say is, stand strong kinksters!  It may not be today or tomorrow or next month or next year, but one day at a time, we can change the world.  Your campus too will be able to accept who you are one day.

That hasn't gotten me down though. The leads I've gotten and the positive feedback has been so strong that despite my physical exhaustion, I'm pumped to move on to Tulsa for Central, and to Covington for Mid-America!  Even other vendors who'd been going to NACA for 30 years came up to me and mentioned how nice it was that I was bringing something truly different to the marketplace, and some even just told me "Thank you" for everything I was doing.  It was incredible.

So if I've learned anything from this experience so far, it's that there IS a market for this. People are curious, but scared. But on some level, my faith has been reaffirmed that people have an innate sense of integrity, which they can use to read your genuines. I went to NACA for the right reasons. It shined through, people listened to me, and slowly, I remembered that for others to believe what I'm saying, I must first believe in myself.

I work one shift at the hospital tonight (Tuesday) and then turn around and fly off to Tulsa on Thursday morning, early.  Here we go again.... 

NACA - The trip so far

NACA has been turning out to be a blast!  I'll admit, I was kinda nervous that they were going to boot me out after I set up my booth, for being too "controversial".  But I've been well recieved by both NACA and the schools!  So many people have come up to say hello, and I've gotten quite a few leads on potential gigs at schools all over the northeast.  Thanks to everyone who stopped by!

And now for a couple pictures of the shenanigans.

I got to spend yesterday relaxing at Myrtle Beach, as it was a day of no events.  But I'm putting the finishing touches on my booth now, and I can't wait to meet some more schools tonight at NACA South!

I also want to say a special thanks to my Producer, J-Mat.  Thanks for all of the errand running, note taking, encouragement, and getting me where I need to be on time and looking fabulous!

PupSkoll

....is amazing.

I know I'm currently on the road at NACA, but I just found this time to look at these pictures in my e-mail. Skoll's been working on rubbercraft, and a few weeks ago I let him take my measurements.  My weekend was busy as usual, so the first and only time we could find a place to meet up was at the MPLS Eagle, at Gear Night this past Saturday.

As you can see, I'm pretty pleased with the results.  Isn't his rubbercraft amazing?  And I love the color!  Thank you PupSkoll!

The rest of the Gear Night patrons enjoyed it as well.... 

Tomorrow, my life will Change

For the better or the worse, my life will change next week.

You may have noticed the "Hire me!" link I put up on my blog.  I'm really interested in doing more speeches and getting my name out there.  I want to spread the good kinky word and try to dispel stereotypes people have of BDSM, leather, fetish, and kink.  Making a little money in the process wouldn't hurt either.

Next week I'll be at two trade shows to try to sell myself as a kinky speaker.  Topics I'm advertising include BDSM, leather, rubber, bondage, safety and basic education, as well as the "next guard" of kink.  These trade shows are marketing to Colleges and Universities, a demographic I can relate to because I'm not far off from college myself.  It's called NACA - the National Association of College Activities.  

Next week, I will have contact with people from over 150 different schools.  I'm hoping I can secure some bookings, because it's been rather spendy to get involved with all of this.  Travel, registration fees, the cost of having banners printed, etc. all has added up.  But even if I don't book a single one, I guarantee you that my life will be very different one week from today.

So I hope SOMEONE out there things I have something to say that's worth bringing to their campus!

Stronger Than Myself

To those of you who wrote in with your kind words about this blog, thank you. You made me stop and think further about what I'm writing for. I didn't know that my crazy little life was so inspirational to you out there. I'll work harder to remember that you don't expect perfection from me. Everything I publish doesn't have to be the most beautiful piece of art I've ever written. It's just an imperfect blog about an imperfect life, like all of us.

I still hold myself to higher standards, and when I fail, I take it really, really hard on myself. I do this in every facet of my life, including my relationship to my husband, my kinky friends, my work, my problem with ADHD, my speaking career, my cooking....pretty much everything I do. I was always held to really high standards as a child (one of my weekly household chores was to do the dusting of all the furniature; I remember once getting punished for not dusting the top of the fucking refridgerator in our kitchen). I didn't even know I was doing it to myself.

Flogging is not something I often do, but there are definitely times where I'm feeling some emotions and I just need to let it all out.  I tend to wall up my emotions and just let them build up, in order to maintain a good public image.  The summer was kind of crazy for me, and particularly the past week (for a very, very personal reason I won't be blogging about).  I couldn't sort out my emotions in my head, but I thought being flogged might help, for emotional AND sexual reasons.

I went to Inferno with the Chicago Hellfire Club this weekend, and made an appointment for a session. I stepped up onto the St. Andrew's cross, and I got shackled with my arms in the air on either side. Being flogged is an emotional catharsis. The first few swats don't really hurt much, but then they start to hurt.  Yet you don't ask for them to stop. You get flogged and flogged until you get "broken" and you break down, emotionally, and just let it out and start to cry. For me, that's where the scene typically ends. But I didn't do that this time.

When I got to the point where I wanted to cry and we usually stop, I gritted my teeth and strained against my restraints.  Without even thinking about it, I fought it back. It was tough to hide the tears from my dom and look like I could still keep going. But I fought HARD. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life to fight those tears back.  I cleared my throat before I spoke to tell him, "I'm fine, Sir." And on he went, throwing those thuds against my back with his various floggers.

My mind raced.  Why in the world did I just do that?  I pulled hard against my restraints and braced myself for more pain.

It happened again after a few minutes.  Even though I really, really just wanted to cry, let it all out, collapse, and be done, some headstrong determination surfaced and took over my body.  I mouthed to myself, "You're stronger than this," as I braced myself against the wood of the cross and once again, forced those tears back into my head.  I was hurting like hell, more than I have ever hurt in my entire life, but I felt like I wasn't done yet.  I was looking for something I hadn't found yet in this beating.

By this point, my back was red, puffy, the muscles were loosely hanging off my scapulae, and just the slightest breeze made it sting.  And that was just a breeze... Sir asked, "Alright boy?" And again I cleared my throat and tried hard to mask the sounds of my crying.  "Yes Sir.  Don't stop yet."  I wanted to hurt more than I'd ever had before.  I wanted this to be a real punishment for the things I've done that seemed so wrong in my eyes.

He switched his tools again and returned to my back.  I was starting to yell though; each time he hit me, I screamed.  Some louder than others.  As my screams escalated and my back stung so bad I thought my arms were getting ripped off, Sir just picked up his pace and smacked at my back faster and faster. Tears were just streaming silently from my eyes into my blindfold as I screamed.  It had been about an hour of flogging at this point.  When I wasn't yelling, I was mouthing to myself, "Stronger than this," over and over again, telling myself that I can keep on going and not to stop.  

Why?  My mind was racing around.  Why is my body doing exactly what my brain says I shouldn't be doing?

Two exceptionally hard cracks and I nearly collapsed down from the cross, if it weren't for the restraints holding me up.  I clambered back up, fighting with all the strength I had left in my soul to keep on going.  I wasn't able to prevent my crying from being so obvious, but I was trying.  

I held my breath waiting for another strike, but it never came.  Instead I felt Sir in front of me, on the other side of the cross.  "Stop fighting it so hard," he said.  I started to cry harder.  I felt a liquid dripping down my back.  Weird, I thought.  After I realized I was bleeding, my mind finally quieted itself, and there, in that darkest, most painful, bloodiest, tearfilled moment, I felt on the outside how I did on the inside.  In that quiet peace that resulted, I looked to my own heart and found the strength to forgive.......myself.

"Thank you, Sir," I bawled as he held me.  I just cried and cried as I stood there, frozen, bleeding.

There's no reason for me to be so tough on myself. Sometimes I screw up, sometimes multiple people screw up and something goes wrong, or something hurts. That doesn't always make it my fault. Moreover, imperfection does not equal failure, and I don't need to constantly beat myself up over that. I'm worth more, and I can stop this endless cycle of self-depreciation.  I know I can.

Because after all...

Zentai

I don't know what started it all for me.  I remember looking at porn in my teens and running across the picture of a guy in a zentai on some obscure japanese website screwing around.

This fetish has yet to really take off in the USA.  There are these things called Morph Suits which are available widely in the UK.  People buy them, wear them to sporting events(in team colors), even run marathons or bike races in them.  It's always been viewed as a pretty "Euro" thing, although I've been told by friends who go to college football games, hockey games, etc. that you can find people in the crowds wearing these to show support for their teams colors.  It'll probably catch on slowly here, like everything else.

There's a whole contingency of fetishists into Zentai located in Japan and China as well.  I wonder why this is?  Whatever the case may be, I'm jealous of the spandex parties I've heard of/seen advertised on Japanese websites.  Can you imagine a whole zentai orgy?  

Well.....I can.

During Minneapolis Pride, some of our kinky friends (PuppyBullet, TorchedStud, ColoBondage28Boy, and others) flew out to join us from Denver.  A certain very gracious dom with a dungeon hosted a couple parties/mixers for the MPLS boys and the Denver boys to ....um.....get to know each other.  Imagine my excitement when I walked in and found this happening:

Well, you know...a good fox comes prepared for anything and everything, so this...

Very quickly turned into this....

Can anybody guess who's who?

I swear....we can get this fetish to take off in this country YET.

Pride Pictures

Mostly from the parade/carrying the flag.  Thanks to all the photographers who did such a great job!  Most of these pics were found on Facebook.

What an amazing weekend. :)

Kink Pride

It isn't just about being proud once per year.

There was a time when it took a lot of courage to go out and march down the street yelling, "We're here, we're queer, get used to it!"  I'm sure in some parts of the country like the deep south, and possibly even in some remote areas of the Midwest, it's still tough to do that and feel safe.  I remember walking with the "parade" at a Pridefest in my college town one summer, Kirksville MO.  Kirksville only has a population of around 16,000.  The Pridefest was really only a handful of people, probably around 15 or 20.  The picnic we had started on the downtown square, where everyone had assembled.  It was a Sunday so the downtown area was completely deserted.  No one even noticed as we walked a lap around the square, but I think that's how everyone wanted it.  Kirksville was the kind of city where people have guns in their homes to keep others off their property.  They MIGHT be okay with gay people, but none of us were willing to find out firsthand.

In larger cities, the story is different.  You can march down the street and feel completely safe, and completely accepted.  JoeMyGod wrote an incredibly well worded blog about how the point of Pride is celebration.  Pride isn't to show off to other people anymore and make our presence known; our presence is already known.  Pride is a time for us.  It's a time to celebrate.

We still have walls to break down in our communities though.  Particularly, the leather/rubber/kink/fetish communities still have a reason to have a Pride parade.  We live in a world where it's still not okay to be "out" and kinky.  Most people don't feel comfortable with their friends, family, and co-workers knowing that someone likes to squeeze into some rubber or leather and get tied up or have casual sex on the weekends.  It's just too much of a taboo subject and most "family" oriented people can't handle it.  Even within our OWN gay community, people who are into kinks are often looked down on.

For kinky boys, being proud is still an act of revolution. Some say that they don't like going to Dore Alley or to the Folsom Street Fair because they feel like they become a circus attraction.  People want to say hi, take pictures, etc. etc, and it would seem that a lot of kinky people don't wholly embrace this and keeps them from attending these events.  Why?  Personally, I wear leather and latex when I go out in Minneapolis rather frequently.  Sometimes people say something to me; most of the time they don't.  Every time someone has mentioned anything, they absolutely love it and have questions. I never mind answering questions for the curious!  I'm proud that I'm being asked, and I'm proud of them for working up the courage to do so!

Just last night I was at The Saloon.  It's one of my favorite bars in the Twin Cities.  It's not really a kink bar, but rather just a regular gay boy/twink bar.  There's a HUGE dancefloor, and if you ever want to go dancing in Minneapolis, this is definitely the place to go.  The DJs are awesome.  I was wearing a set of full dress leathers (boots, skintight leather pants, shirt, tie, Sam Browne, arm band) when I walked in the door with my other friends.  I love going to the vanilla bars in gear.  Those who were courageous enough to speak to me had nothing but good things to say about everything I was wearing.  

And then came my favorite part.  I love Gear Nights at the Eagle, but there's something inherent about leathermen and rubbermen; we don't dance.  At least, not at the Eagle we don't.  I hopped up on stage in my full leathers and danced my heart out to all my favorite songs.  Eventually I took off the shirt and gave my tie to WillCo68 to wear around his neck.  Sweat was covering every inch of my body and those skintight leather jeans felt amazing. So did the bodies I was grinding against.  I felt whole there on stage, lost in the music of my life.  I'm proud to be myself, a leatherboy, on that stage dancing my heart out and singing Katy Perry and Rihanna songs at the top of my lungs (off key though I'm sure).  

And that's what Kink Pride is all about to me.  In the words of Ke$ha, "We are who we are."

Pridefest is this coming weekend in the Twin Cities!  General info is here.

Check out the MN Leather Pride events this week.  Info is here.  I'll definitely be around in Loring Park on Saturday and Sunday, most likely in some kind of latex or leather.  Also, if you're around, consider putting something kinky on and walking in the Gay Pride Parade on Sunday morning with the LeatherPride flag.  I did it last year, and it was an amazing experience I'll never forget!  We'll be lining up to walk at 10am at the corner of 3rd and Hennepin.  ANYONE is welcome to join us, you don't have to be a member of the groups.

Let's dance!!

Closets and Gardens

While I was unpacking from IML and cleaning up some gear, something happened which I didn't think was likely to occur for a number of years.  My closet filled up.

Seriously.  I have a small closet in my attic where I keep all my leather, rubber, and spandex pants, shirts, etc.  Not only did I run out of hangers, but I filled up the closet as I finished washing each piece of latex, polishing each piece of leather, and organizing each of them.  I can't believe it.  Being a poor midwesterner, I thought it would be many more years before I had a closet that was full since I have so many bills to pay.  Granted, it's a rather small closet, but I can't help but be thankful for everything I have.

There's one piece missing though.

I bought my latex catsuit when I was 21 years old.  I gave some careful thought to what I would do with my income tax refund that year; after making sure I didn't have any car repairs or debts to other people to pay off, I decided to buy some gear.  I had wanted something made of rubber for a while, and with great trepidation, I searched far and wide for the one piece that just felt right to me.  The Mr. S full body five-zip catsuit.  I didn't send them my measurements or anything; I just got lucky by ordering a "small".  It fit like a glove.

Over the next five years, I got a good amount of *ahem* mileage from that amazing piece of molded pseudoliquid sex.  Everytime I would slide it onto my body, something would happen with me.  It wouldn't matter what was going on at school or how many hours I had worked that week or what kind of fight I had just gotten into with my parents.  Every last bit of that would melt away into the rubber.  I was a fox.  I was Tynan.  I was me.

My first MIR came around; I got a chance to wear it in public.  And met some great new friends in the process.  I realized what it was like to wear the catsuit for 8 hours; and by the end of it, it feels like a second skin.  I wore it to the Eagle on my very first visit there a couple years ago.  I didn't know what else to wear to the Eagle.  Since it fit so tight and was just not something I'd wear out on the street (yet), I wore regular street clothes over it.  Even so, it was such a novelty.  I met a few people and made some small talk, and I realized how little the latex fetish was known to the old-guard leathermen.

MIR number two comes and goes.  That latex catsuit is what I wore to my very first gear night at the Eagle in January of 2010.  It was the outfit of choice for trying to convince other guys to come out to the bar and be a part of a community.  It worked; everyone who was there had to feel the smoothness of the latex at least one time, and I made a lot of good, new friends.  The next month, I wasn't the only rubberboy there.  A few months later, at the behest of my friends, I wore that catsuit onstage as I competed at MIR.  It turned out to be one of my favorite outfits to wear because not only did it look good, but because it tells a story of me through its scars and blemishes.

My catsuit isn't just a sexy piece of rubber that I put on to get off.  My catsuit is the very first piece of wearable gear that I've ever owned, and the piece of latex that gave me the strength and determination to drive myself forward, uninhibited into my own kinky desires.  My catsuit was the first piece of gear to make me feel whole and complete.  It was the first garment to hang in a closet now completely full of gear in a life that's now completely full of joy, vibrance, friends, and course, kinky sex.

At IML a couple weekends ago, International Mr. Leather Founder (yes, Founder!) and Executive Producer Chuck Renslow gave a very heartfelt speech at the contest on Sunday night, which included an amazing shout-out to me.  He had to shorten it due to time constraints, but in the whole thing was published afterward (click here to read it). I am ever humbled and grateful to receive such a compliment from such a great man.  I still can't believe he even knows who I am.  After the contest, I went back to my hotel, and slipped into the old girl for (what would become) her last time to play with an old friend of mine.

I've had my catsuit repaired three times already, but I liked the scars on it. They added character.  But alas, my catsuit exploded after my friend and I played, later that night at the bar. It may seem silly, but this is the ode to my catsuit.  Thank you, old girl, for being there for all those years and planting the kinky seed in my life.  You've served me well in many precarious situations and in many different *ahem* positions.  You gave me the calm and solace I needed to persevere; with your help, I found the strength to fill the closet in my dungeon as well as the void in my life. I could always slide in to you and melt away from it all, lost in the kinky life you gave me.

I'll never forget you.

Reality Sucks

I just got home from Chicago.  I'm exhausted, but I need to write.  Trigger and Skoll just unloaded my car and drove off.  Partner is off playing golf.  This is the first time in six days I've been alone.  It's quiet.  It's empty in the house.

Some amazing things happened at IML.

1)I shared a two-bedroom suite with eight other guys (PupTrigger, PupSkoll, Jmat83, PecAssO, GearKidMN, VersChicagoBoy, Puck8954 and Wolfang), and it worked. I was expecting chaos, but everyone got along well, there was no drama, plenty of room, and some great eye candy (because we have standards of excellence).

2)We check in, and it turned out our room was directly next-door to my Sir's, and just two doors down from some other really hot Minnesotans. It was rediculously exciting.

3)I found the proper accessories to connect my TENS unit into a much more fun toy, along with some converters to fix my gas-masks to my rebreather bags. I didn't know they made this stuff. Yes, this might just mean I don't pay attention to details. 

4)There are mummies, and there are mummies. The one I played with was the latter. 

5)One of the most strained relationships of my life started to get glued back together. Why is this amazing? Because I probably wouldn't have spoken to him if we hadn't both been at IML. Oh yeah, and also because I stormed in to confront him during a play party like a crazed redheaded Charlie Sheen looking to cause a 'Domestic Disturbance' on Cops. Oops.

6)I went to the contest.  Shocking I know.  I was covering it for Leatherati.  It actually wasn't that bad or even boring! Perhaps a bit lengthy, but overall, quite enjoyable.  I blogged live (check out the "leatherati-live" link) and caught some really great moments.

7)I got to meet and shake hands with Chuck Renslow. *heart bubbles*

8)I had picked up my latex catsuit at the vendor market following repairs by Mr. S, only to have an EPIC latexplosion later that night.  Seriously, the bitch just laid down and died.  At least she waited until after I was done fisting someone while wearing her.

9)"Minnesota Drunk" has been defined as Canadian hockey-player levels of intoxication, yet provides the warmth of a Texan drunk.  A "Night Nurse" is a new drink: a screwdriver with two shots of peach schnapps and topped with RedBull. That shit will get you Minnesota Drunk and make sure you can enjoy the whole night; ask JMat83 if you need those details.

10)I never once in six days felt like I needed a "break" from it all.  It was an emotional rollercoaster in so many ways, but as I sit here right now at home, all I want to do is put on some latex or leather and go down to the lobby bar and get a drink and see some friends - but clearly, I can't.  I'm at home, alone.  It's over. It's a whole year before it happens again, but I can't wait to see all the friends that I now call family.

And that's the magic of IML.

Numb

I haven't written in a long time.  I hate it when I let myself go so long without writing; I never know how to kick off the first post after a long break.  So what's been up?

I've been riveted by the local news in Minnesota.  You may or may not have heard, but the MN Senate, and the House this week, have/will pass a referendum to be voted on in 2012, which will ban gay marriage in the state of MN.  I'm hopefull it will fail at the polls, but you have to remember that anti-same-sex marriage amendments have come up in 31 states so far, and it has passed in EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.  I'm hopeful.  But the odds are against us.  

That said, I'm not yet willing to give up on human integrity.  We can defeat this.  Right now even, the polls are in our favor.  But there's a long road between now and November 2012.

Beyond that, I've been working a lot of overtime lately.  Lots of sick people at work, many of them the unfortunate type.  My work generally isn't that dramatic, but I feel like the drama level has been turned up extra high these past few weeks.  No one's "just" sick, all my patients have been sick-and-32-years-old-and-broke-and-have-three-young-kids.  Then I haven't been sleeping well during the days and, to top it all off, I was attacked by a patient last night, and now I'm wide awake at home.  (No, I'm not injured.)

I've kinda spent the past few weeks on a sleep-deprived some what stressed out and rather emotional rollercoaster.  Where does that leave me this morning?  A gelatinous pseudo-tweaked out ball of goo on the couch.  Hungry yet stuffed.  Sore but tranquil.  Thinking clearly yet a total mess. 

Numb.

..................................until.......I remember what I'll be doing in exactly one week from today.  I'll be in a Tahoe with two rubber pups on my way to Chicago for the yearly kinkfest for gay men in the nation.

IML is on the horizon.  Time to be the fox again.

And this fox is crawling back into bed.

Kinkphobia

I believe that I'm going to be trying to spend a lot more time on Fetlife in the near future.  For one reason, I realize how important the hetero community is to kinksters.  There are a LOT of them on Fetlife, and I feel like I haven't really extended enough of a hand to the hetero community of players - and I really am interested in what makes them tick.

The other reason is that I'm continually disappointed by Facebook.

Last night I decided to try some of those little ads on Facebook to promote this site/blog.  I figure if I really want to start doing more workshops, presentations, discussions, etc. that it's not just going to be handed to me.  So I fill out all the info for my ad, preview it, specify that it should only be visible to people who are 18 or over and who say in their profiles that they "like" bondage, bdsm, kink, flogging, etc. etc. etc.  I wouldn't really want to expose completely vanilla people to my ad and/or my website.  After I had all the possible keywords put in for potential viewers, it said the ad would have a reach of around 400,000 people.  That's definitely more than just a little bit.

So I finish things up and submit my ad for review by Facebook.  I was hopeful that given all these barriers coupled with the fact that this site really isn't pornographic (although it is for an adult audience), it would be approved.  Much to my disappointment, it was not.  Included in the rejection e-mail was a specific reason:

"The content promoted in this ad is not permitted on Facebook. We reserve the right to choose the advertisements that appear on the site, and ads for this product or service should not be resubmitted. Please visit our Help Center for more specific information."

So I go in and look at the help center and from what I can tell, it shows that they do not allow content of "adult" themes.  Specifically, "Facebook does not allow advertisements that contain or promote adult content.  This may include nudity, adult dating sites, adult toys or products, or images of people in positions or activities that are excessively suggestive or sexual. Some sexual health products or services may be allowed, including ads for contraceptives or sexual health resources, but such ads must be targeted to users over the age of 18. Sexual performance enhancers are not permitted."

Let's not forget that the whole point of this website is to be a "resource".  And yet, it's completely allowed in their terms of service for alcohol providers (think: Budwiser, etc.) to promote themselves on Facebook.  Last time I checked, alcohol was an adult product intended for an adult audience.  What kind of sense does this make?  And if the ad would only be viewable to people who are over the age of 18 who clearly state sexually-suggestive material on their own profiles, how is this really harming anyone, or facebook for that matter?  Isn't it worse for their to be alcoholic advertisements on people who are recovering alcoholics or prefer not to drink?  

My ad was not rejected because it was "adult" in nature.  It was rejected because Facebook is kinkophobic.  

I would fight it if I had the energy.   In the meantime, however, I'll just be going back to a social networking site that is made by us, for us, and doesn't discriminate against us.  I hate that no matter how much progress we make, we're always taking a step backward.

This is the face of kinkphobia.  

90 Days to IML

I'm generally not much of one for countdowns to events, but I'm doing this one for a specific reason.  

I stopped working out for about a month.  In that time I've gone from 157 down to 152.  I can tell a huge difference in the mirror too - it's sad how skinny boys like me can put it on quick but also loose it just as quickly.  I've resigned myself to the fact that for me, to be 10lbs heavier is going to be a full time job.  I can handle it.

On the plus side of taking a month off, I've let my muscles recover completely - and now they're ready for another huge gain.  If I can stick with it.

My goal is to weigh 160 lbs by IML.  That gives me three months to gain about 10 lbs; a more than reasonable goal.  I'm going to be doing P90X+ (yes, that's right, P90X, PLUS).  Those of you who follow this blog know that I've already finished two rounds of P90X - and it works!  But the workouts are getting a little redundant.  Fortunately, Beachbody sells 5 additional workouts you can add to the series, called P90X Plus.  

I'm ready to bring it.  But this isn't just a notice for me.  Everyone wants to look good at IML, right?  We all spend quite a bit of time being social, seeing people we hardly see but once per year, and we all want to make a good impression.  Unfortunately, crash dieting for lifting weights for two weeks prior to the weekend isn't going to cut it.  If you want to make a visible difference in yourself by then, it's going to take about three months - you have to start now.

Who's with me?  Maybe we can all work together, post some comments, support one another, and discuss what we're doing to get in shape for the weekend to end all weekends.  My fridge is stocked with protein shakes, I bought enough protein bars for the next few months, I have my creatine stocked up and I've taken my "before" pictures.  And every time I think about skipping a workout, I'll think about the promise I made to myself, and to you, my readers, to get it back in gear.

So what are you going to do with your 90 days?

MBLGTACC Reflections

What an incredible whirlwind.

I didn't write about it much before this weekend, so here's a short explanation.  MBLGTACC stands for the Midwest Bisexual Lesbian Gay Transgendered Ally College Conference.  It's a yearly conference for college students (undergrad or graduate level) who identify as one of these populations.  The first year I attended this conference was in 2007 when I was still a student at Truman State University.  This conference was at University of Minnesota (it changes every year where it is).  It was an incredibly moving experience.  Despite being broke college students and the Midwest being as spread out as it is, thousands of GLBT students still came together in the frozen north for this conference, and the kind of energy that they brought with them was amazing.  Even though things kinda suck to be GLBT in the Midwest, the level of sheer joy and optimism that you find among these inspiring individuals is life-changing.

This year's conference was at University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.  As people were gathering in the Hill Auditorium on campus on Friday night for the opening ceremonies and the first keynote speaker, a dance party broke out when the DJ put on Lady Gaga's "Born This Way".  Have you ever seen a random dance party break out as 2,000 people are gathering for a speaker?  That's the kind of energy that just flowed this whole weekend.

When I first attended in 2007, there was a kink/BDSM workshop there, which was great.  But unfortunately, it was not very well attended.  Also, the presenters were not really college students, which is fine (lots of the workshops at the conference are put on by community members and not just students), but I thought there would be more interest if the presentation was made by someone the conference goers could relate to.  I applied to do a kink workshop for the 2008 conference which was at University of Illinois - Urbana-Champaign.  It was incredibly well attended - so well, in fact, that I had 75 people crammed in standing room in a classroom made for 30 people, and another 75 people out in the hall who had to be turned away due to lack of space.  

I presented a similar workshop again in 2009, but since I graduated, I decided to skip the 2010 conference.  I still keep up with some students who attend Truman State who went, and I was told by several of them and others that there wasn't a single kink-related workshop or presenter at the 2010 conference.  It was a disparity.

So back I came, this weekend, in 2011.  I applied to present two workshops on the New Guard and Kinkphobia as well as the first ever Kink-Identity Caucus (for people who identify as kinksters to meet, organize, and discuss).  I was surprised to find out that someone else, Elliot Jensen from University of Iowa, was supposed to also present two BDSM workshops.  He unfortunately had to cancel, so I volunteered to pick up one of his two workshops (the one on BDSM 101).  That made for a busy weekend, to do three workshops and a caucus, but it was a lot of fun!  Especially my workshop "Justifying Kink".  This was a one hour workshop on Kinkphobia and how it's felt within the GLBT community.  In retrospect, I should have asked for a 90 minute slot for this one - there were a lot of questions and great dialoge bouncing around and we almost ran out of time.  

All the workshops I did were very well attended.  They were all in the same auditorium-style classroom that seated around 200 people.  For all of them, every seat was filled.  

What can I say?  Wow.  I love this stuff.  I love presenting this workshops, and I love the energy I get from this.  I would love to present more of these workshops at other colleges/universities, or anywhere else.  I already can't wait for MBLGTACC 2012.  Maybe I could become a public speaker as a side job....anybody know anything about how to get started in that?  

To anyone who was present at the conference and attended the workshops I did, I know I saw lots of people in the audience taking pictures and video.  If you have any pics or vid of me presenting, please e-mail it to me!  I don't have any pics of me doing this yet.  Please send to TynanFox@gmail.com.  

I have a whole week off work still.  Time to set to work on a new project :)

 

MBLGTACC!

I'm here!

Today I'm off to register for the conference, and then I'll be sitting in the Student Union, in full leathers, working on my presesntations, and giving out cards/hustling people to actually drag themselve out of bed for my workshop at 8am on Sunday.  Bleh.

GO COLLEGE GAYS!!

Recent Events

This past weekend was Mr. Twin Cities Leather!  It went really well.  I covered the whole thing for Leatherati, and I don't really have anything to add.  ;)  The turnout was huge, and I can really say I've never been prouder to be a part of the leather community in this city.  Some pictures are up on Leatherati as well!

THIS weekend I'm going to be at MBLGTACC! I went to this conference for the first time back in 2007, and returned in 2008, 2009, and now I'm returning in 2011 to present two different workshops on Kink as well as coordinate a Kink-related caucus.  I only wish my workshops were at better times.  (I'm presenting a Kinky caucus on Saturday at 4:30, Justifying Kink at 5:40, and then New Guard Kink on Sunday morning *BLEH* at 8:30am).

Currently I'm in Chicago.  Thankfully, the ever so graceful and kind JohnnySwitch let me crash with him last night.  

Hope I see some of you at the conference!

MAL - I never wore any rubber

Mostly because I was working for Leatherati.  I didn't want to get silicon lube all over my phone or my notepad.  Not that I'm anti-leather.  On the contrary, I loved it.  LeatherDehners loaned me a few pieces to wear for the weekend, and they went over pretty well.  :)

I had to hit the ground running though.  As soon as I arrived, I got to drop all of my gear and lay on the bed for 15 minutes before showering and leathering up for my first press conference.  This is where the contestants for the weekend were introduced, and would be the only time we would see them publicly until Sunday afternoon for the contest.  Very hot men! 

I ran into G-Man while I was eating.  It was great to catch up with him again.  Then I mostly just hung out in the lobby and drank, and caught up with some friends that I never get to see.  Or at least, not nearly often enough.  

Saturday was awesome, as expected.  I hit the gym first, and then sorted out my game plan for the day.  I had a press conference where I learned of a very interesting issue surrounding IML.  I was pleased to get an actual interview.  I felt like a real journalist.  But that didn't last long, becuase I hit the Leathermart to shop, and to find something to do with my afternoon.  It turned out to be involving a good friend of mine, a new friend of mine, and a LOT of duct tape. Can't think of a better way to spend a few hours.

I got unwrapped just in time to shower and get ready for the Leather Cocktails event, thrown by the Centaurs.  That's the leathergroup that runs the whole MAL event.  It was catered and there was an open bar!  The ceremony of flags was pretty sweet, as well as the installation of new officers.  I really enjoy seeing these kinds of old-guard and brotherhood events. 

Saturday night I ended up in the lobby drinking, and in a few rooms visiting friends.  Sunday I got up and put on a pair of much needed sunglasses to go with the cop uniform I borrowed.  I went to leather brunch, again, hosted by the Centaurs, amazingly.  I can't imagine how much work that group must put into this.  Then the contest was that afternoon, which was surprisingly short.  Compared to MIR, I think it had really good flow, was simple, yet effective.  I liked it.  Although the mid-contest entertainment could have been improved somewhat...

Afterwards I entered a LAZY phase for a few hours.  It has been a busy, busy weekend and I decided to just crash and hang with my roomates.  We ordered some Chinese food.  Afterward I leathered back up and met everyone down in the lobby for the end of MAL...enjoyed some drinks and company, and then...well, you read my previous post.  I guess I AM an instigator. 

Hope you enjoyed the recap.  Can't wait for the next gearnight at the MPLS Eagle.  There's also a few leather contests coming up in Minneapolis.  I have to work for both of them!  So pissed.  Wish I could be there.  But you should be!  I'll get more details about them up soon.