The Fox Den

MBLGTACC 2012 - This is why

Well, MBLGTACC was amazing as usual. Every year I've been to this conference, I've wondered why I'm still going, especially since the conference is not particularly kink-geared. This year I had a more legitamate purpose - I attended as a business professional. I did a couple workshops to give people a sample of what my speeches are all about, and I also advertized at my booth for one loooooooooooong day at the Exhibitor Fair from 10am-6pm on Saturday. Seriously. 8 hours, and the traffic was non-stop!

I spoke to more students, activists, faculty, advisers and staff members than I can even count. Thank you all so much for your support and enthusiasm, for stopping by my booth, for being friendly, for asking questions, and for being courageous enough to speak to a boy in rubber. I was kind of nervous about the Exhibitor Fair, because from previous conferences, I could never remember a speaker renting a table out to try to book gigs. But I can't even count the number of students and schools who came by, asking me about my prices and my available dates! It was almost overwhelming. While at the table, I also told people about the workshop I was presenting on Sunday morning, as a preview or sample of what I can do at their schools if booked. I'm proud to say that the classroom my session was in was completely full with people sitting on the floor, but they also had to shut the doors to more attendees because it was creating a fire hazzard. :(

And by the way, for those of you who took pictures of/with me, please e-mail them to me. 

I really, really love this conference. The energy, enthusiasm, and optimism of college students is envigorating to me. Traveling down this road toward becoming a public speaker hasn't been easy. Busy work schedules, late nights, time away from my Minneapolis crew, and the expenses all add up. I've missed two MPLS Eagle Gear Nights in a row now! ERGH!

But going to this conference is refreshing, to say the least. I have a renewed sense of determination to press on. This morning, I presented a 90 minute workshop on "Debunking Myths about BDSM", and this afternoon, here's an e-mail I received (posted with author's permission):

"Hey!

It's **********, the kid with the pink shirt who wouldn’t shut up during your Sunday morning session. I just wanted to say again how inspiring your workshop was. I’ve had some limited kink experience, but nothing more than a couple isolated scenes with random people from recon, and certainly nothing like some of what you described in the workshop and on your blog (yes, I’ve been creeping). Initially your workshop made me a little uncomfortable, and I spent the better part of the bus ride back to my college thinking about why. I came to the conclusion that despite how out, proud and self-affirming I’d like to think myself, I really do feel ashamed about that part of my sexuality. Seeing a presentation discuss so openly what for me was such an intensely personal and private topic (that more or less lives on the internet in my world) felt like a challenge to my own internalized oppression. I’ve unknowingly been telling myself that this part of me was rightly a dirty secret that shouldn’t leave the realm of Recon; if people knew about this part of my sexual expression, how could I be a role model for my peers? I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I actually have been thinking myself a pervert because of these desires.

Anyway, I could bitch and moan about myself for pages, but I guess I just wanted to say that the work you’re doing is really important and that your presence at an otherwise “vanilla” conference was affirming and validating in such a meaningful way for anyone with a dirty secret. It’s so easy to dismiss stigma against kink as trivial, but for the people affected by it I think it’s a lot more oppressive than anyone really realizes. Your passion in the workshop was nothing less than inspiring, and I wish I could find community for this part of my life like you have. So I guess now comes the awkward ending to an awkward email. Thanks so much for your workshop and your openness."

This is why it's important for kinky people to be present as activists everywhere, not just in kinky forums. This is why it's important for us to challenge what "sexual orientation" really is. This is why it's important for us to be outspoken about the lives we lead and the dreams that we share. This is why conferences like MBLGTACC are so, so important.

This is why we need to always remember to love ourselves, and to pass that feeling on to others.

Social vs. "Social"

Something must have bitten me.

There hasn't been much of 2012 lately, but for whatever reason, I've been playing a LOT so far in 2012. I've already used my dungeon/attic more this year than I did last year (don't laugh). Maybe it's the full moon tonight?

Or maybe it's just that I'm learning to navigate being social, vs. being "social". It seems like whenever I get together with a group of kinky friends, be it in Minneapolis or at an event like MAL, I don't want to miss out on seeing all the great friends I rarely see. But then when that happens, I usually just end up being social (read "drinking") with them, and screwing around gets thrown to the wayside. 

It's about finding the proper amount of balance in life. Seeing friends is great, yeah, but to maintain health as a kinkster, one needs to settle those cravings. And yet, I've felt completely satisfied being social with my kinky friends.

Maybe I'm just moving up to a new level? I've gotten used to being social and I feel like I know my friends and who they are. Maybe I'm ready to depart those times a little bit more often now that I've had them enough and explore some new territory I haven't yet explored. 

Moderation in all things. Including moderation. Can't wait to see what else 2012 holds...

Events!

Wow, sorry to leave you all hanging! My life's been a whirlwind the past couple of weeks. Things have picked up so far in 2012, and I'm going to have to learn how to find time to write in between all the events that I'm either attending or being a part of!

UMSL - Thank you so much. I won't lie, I was kind of nervous, but the event turned out to be a huge success. I need to say a huge, huge thank you to Erin Potts with the University Program Board at UMSL for working so hard to bring in a huge turn out. There were about 200 people there! And I also want to say a big thanks to the fans of this blog, and others who came out to see me perform. It was really moving, thank you all for saying hello! Thanks to the entire audience for laughing at my jokes. 

February is going to be a busy, busy month. I guess there's no rest for the wicked? 

MBLGTACC! - That's right, I'm headed back to MBLGTACC, next week in fact. 2/10-2/12 at Iowa State University in Ames. I love this conference, and the energy it brings. Over 2000 GLBTQAI college students will attend, and I'm so pumped about it! You can see me there doing one workshop, twice:

Debunking Myths about BDSM: Saturday 8am-9am, Memorial Union Pioneer Room
                                             Sunday 9:15am-10:45am, Memorial Union Gallery Room

On Saturday from 10am-6pm, I will be hosting a table in the Exhibitor Fair! Come by and find out more about my speaking gigs, or just say hello, ask me questions abut kink, and relax a little. The exhibit hall will be in Memorial Union, South Ballroom.

Twin Cities Leather Week - OMG It's almost here! I'm proud to say that I've been asked/chosen to be a judge for this years' event, so I will be on the panel deciding the next Mr. and Ms. TCL! How cool is that? There are way too many events for me to post here about this, but go check out the website and look through the entire week (yes a whole WEEK!) worth of events! Last year, there was a really great turn out and I'm only expecting this year to be even better. Please plan on being around, and consider entering as a contestant!

Then at the end of the month, I have a "private" event in Denver. ;)

March is going to bring along my next gig, at Indiana University - East, and then NACA Northern Plains in St. Paul!

But amidst all the chaos, my readers, I won't forget about you. I'll keep writing and sharing my insights for you. If YOU have any events coming up that YOU would like to share, you should send them to me and I'll post them here!

MAL Highlights

I'm finally recovered from a really, really EPIC weekend in DC.

Last year, MAL was held at the Hyatt Regency in DC for the first time, and there were a few problems that attendees chose to be vocal about. This year was just really, really awesome from start to finish. I'm not one to complain much, so I don't care about many of those smaller details, but even I can appreciate the lengths the Centaurs went to to make sure things were smooth this year. I appreciate all of them and their awesome club so much!

I want to say thank you to everyone's encouragement and for following my live-blogging on Leatherati. It's not easy for me to be able to keep up and type that fast during the events and the press conferences, but I know that there are plenty of you at home, pounding "refresh", reading what I have to say and wishing you were there. I'm just glad I can give something back. 

I don't know what's gotten into me lately, but I've been sniffing for a good time for a while, and I ended up playing more at MAL than I ever have before at an event. The scenes were really hot. A fox doesn't kiss and tell! I will mention, though, that when a hotel is U shaped, it's important to remember to shut the curtains before you play, otherwise you might just end up with an audience staring through windows on the other side of the complex. That, and that I need to be flagging more colors (on the appropriate sides, of course).

There was a huge attendence from Minnesota for the weekend; probably the biggest non-IML turn out at an event I've seen. It was great to show our brotherhood together, to cheer for Jayson Glynn as he carried the Aton's flag in the parade of colors, show off our kinky creations and blab about how awesome we are. 

The contest was pretty sweet! The new Mr. MAL is pretty sexy, I'm sure he'll fill the role well. One of my favorite portions, though, was the stepdown speech of the outgoing Mr. MAL, Doug Pamplin. His parents were sitting in the audience for the entire contest, and during his speech, he announced this and invited them up on stage with him. His PARENTS. That was an amazing moment; I can only wish I could have that kind of support from my parents.

It was great to meet some new friends and reconnect with some old ones. Events like these make me realize how lucky I really am to be a part of this at 27 years old. I don't take it for granted; I know a lot of guys don't get these experiences until much later in life. It makes me very, very thankful for my leather family.

I flew back on Monday and immediately went to work for a couple shifts, back to back. A couple days off to recover, sort of, but my event at UMSL is right around the corner next week on Wednesday! And I have to work all weekend. I guess there's no rest for the wicked.

Live Blogging MAL 2012!

So I don't think I ever announced it on here, but I'm going to MAL! As I write this, I'm currently in flight to DCA. So pumped to see everyone, it feels like its been forever!

And to make things even better and to show my leather love to the world, I'm live-blogging once again for Leatherati. Go check out Leatherati.com and click on "Leatherati Live" to see my interviews, introductions, press releases, excursions, and hook ups! (Oh, I mean, forget that last one.)

Will keep you updated as the drama unfolds.

It's Working

For those of you who have only recently joined this blog and/or may have not read every single word dating back two and a half years ago, let me rehash why I started writing in the first place. 

I was looking at Recon profiles and blogs for years, and reading about all the hot experiences guys have, wishing it were me. They all seemed to be from guys who either lived in the Northeast or the West coasts. Years of looking at all these profiles and seeing things that I didn't have, yet wanting so badly resulted in giving me a complex of feeling powerless to change anything about my kinky life. And I thought to myself, yes, I've played, but not like that....

.....but I've played. I thought about it more and more, and I realized; I've been doing bondage since I was 18. Despite living in the middle of nowhere in college, I played a LOT. I found guys out there on sites and went for more weekend excursions than I remember (fortunately, most of them had photographic evidence). Maybe the pictures weren't as hot as the ones I've seen by other guys and maybe I didn't have a whole room full of gear and a dungeon of my own, but for being 25 years old, I have a pretty fucking kinky life! There's no reason I shouldn't be proud of it.

Moreover, there's no reason that anyone else can't have it. Maybe if I wrote about my own life, others won't feel so inhibited to get out there and play while they're younger. Grab your kinky life by the balls, kinkster, because you're not the only college boy dying to break into this. 

I've been pouring my life out to you all through this site in the hope that someone, somewhere is reading it and feeling like they're not alone. I track my stats a little bit so I know I have plenty of readers, but being that the blog really isn't that old (only 2ish years), I'm sure there's an impact yet to be made. 

But it's working. 

This weekend, MPLSGuy invited me up to help entertain a couple boys visiting him from Florida. FLABound and FlyBoyFL came up for their first big kinky excursion. It was an absolutely perfect weekend. There was a LOT of play, a tour of Minneapolis dungeons (thanks to MPLSGuy, b1point5, and Pterodactyl), good food, great laughs, EPIC bondage scenes (thanks to all our hosts and my partner in crime, PupTrigger), awesome nights at the bar, and a wonderful feeling of family with two really hot, young guys. As I sit here and write this on Monday evening, I feel a little bit like IML just ended. I'm kind of on cloud nine from these guys. 

On top of it all, the boys couldn't stop gushing over how excited they were to meet me. It was almost embarrassing how much they treated me like some kind of celebrity all weekend. I hadn't really talked to them on Recon or anything before meeting them this weekend, but they both told me how long they've been reading my blog for and how inspiring it was to them. Without the words and experiences I've written about here, they both told me that they would never have had the courage to dive in deeper or to go fly off to visit a dom for a kinky weekend. They were both too nervous to ever chat with me before, but they both said, "Reading your words gave us hope, and courage."

I'm not telling all of this just to blow my own horn. Fuck the fame, the fortune, the power, or the glory. That's not what this blog is about. I'm just so proud that I'm already somehow meeting the greatest goal that I ever set out for myself in this little spot on the web. I'm not here to be a celebrity. I'm just a regular guy! But I'm so, so proud that the words I've written are already having an impact on lives, somewhere.

But it's not just my words. More and more blogs, tumblrs, and twitters have been popping up from kinky, younger guys all over the country. People like TallGlassOfOJ, KinkyBoiNick, AlphaPupAlpine, BenInLeatherLand, JohnnyGear, VagaBondageBoy, PupSkoll, LeatherBondageLove, AllAmericanKinkster and RubberFreak are all pouring their kinky hearts, souls, and lives out for all the world to understand. These are all pivotal for our entire community. The more we share our own lives, the less isolated we'll feel, the more kinksters will come out, the stronger our community will be, and the more family we have.

To FLABound and FlyBoyFL, thanks for an awesome weekend, thanks for reading, and thanks for having the courage to take a leap of faith.

And to all the other blogging, tweeting, and tumblring kinksters out there,
Keep playing.
Keep traveling.
Keep photographing.
Keep writing.
Keep reading.
Keep living. 
Keep loving.

We're reaching them. It's working. 

Make a Kinky Resolution

BLUF made a statement yesterday, and it's already been published on Leatherati's and Dan Savage's blogs. I think it's absolutely perfect. It's everything I've ever fought for as a kinkster through this blog. Read their whole statement here.

Their point is to get kinksters off their computers/smartphones, put their gear on, and get out to the leather bars in their communities. So many of our favorite, most cherished of places have been closing down in recent years. The Chicago Eagle, Detroit Eagle, and now the SF Eagle are the latest of the casualties. Please, consider making the 12x12 resolution. Visit your local leather bar 12 times in the 12 months of 2012. Without patrons, these bars will close. Let's stop this downward spiral. Let's remember that leather (or rubber or whatever your kink is) is something to be celebrated, embraced, and worn proudly; it's not just something you wear at home, alone, behind closed doors while you cruise Recon or Scruff.

In Minneapolis, we make the resolution pretty easy to meet. Gear/dresscode night is once a month, every month on the 2nd Saturday at The Minneapolis Eagle, and they're always a blast. But I would encourage the regulars at MPLS Gear Night to double down on this resolution. Keep going to gear night, but gear up, and go out at least one other time during the month that it's NOT a gear night. I try to wear leather or latex whenever I go to the Eagle, which is pretty frequently. If more guys bring back that energy to the bar, just imagine - maybe dresscode night wouldn't just be once a month? Maybe it would be every day?

If you live in one of the following cities, you still have an Eagle you can, and should, support:

• Denver
• Los Angeles
• San Diego
• Washington D.C.
• Atlanta
• Indianapolis
• Baltimore
• New Orleans
• Minneapolis
• New York
• Portland
• Providence
• Dallas
• Seattle
• Tulsa
• Toronto
• Calgary
• Vienna
• Stuttgart
• Madrid
• London
• Manchester

But the list doesn't stop there. There are many leather bars in the US and elsewhere that don't use the name "Eagle". I'm emphasizing these only because the name "Eagle" is an iconic name for a leather bar, and it's always heartbreaking to hear of another one closing (and also because my googleing skills aren't good enough to find every leather bar in the USA). Whatever the name of your leather bar in your city is, get out there and support them! These leather business owners deserve our support. It's not easy being an entrepreneur in this economy, and being a leather entrepreneur has its own set of drama to go with it. Without these brave individuals, there would be no leather bars in the first place. And personally, I think MY life has gotten better since I started going to the MPLS Eagle....

If you DON'T live in or near a city that has a leather or other similar alternative bar, don't be discouraged. Living in Rochester, MN, Kirksville, MO, Iowa City, IA, Marquette, MI, Springfield, MO, Jackson, MI, Appleton, WI, Buffalo, NY, and other smaller, remote places can be a real challenge for leather people. We don't always get to choose where we live, but no matter where you are, you're probably not alone. If you can safely, consider being the voice for the community in your hometown. Consider starting a leather group, organization, or even just speak to your local gay bar (or the most liberal of straight bars you can find) about having a leather night once a month. These events and clubs just don't come from nowhere. If you need help or advice on these smaller communities/areas, e-mail me. I can give you a little advice on those smaller communities.

If you can find the strength inside of you to lead a community in a small town, then you will have everything you will ever need to face the world.

Check out the Facebook Page for the 12x12 campaign here. Post their badge on your blog, your website, your tumblr or your twitter. Spread the word. We can stop the closing of our most sacred of places. We can revitalize this community, and remind ourselves that leather isn't just something you wear to get off. We were first a community, a brotherhood. We can still have that. And when we find it, we won't ever have to see another Eagle or other leather bar or shop shut down again.

Stand strong, kinksters!

It's Christmas!

And I have nothing kinky to say about this holiday. 

Peace, love, and warmth to all my readers!

That is all.

Last night, and Mr/s.Twin Cities Leather!

Last night was like a weird, fucked up dream. I made the last minute decision to drive up to Minneapolis to go to a nice, calm, social holiday party at Cockpit Minneapolis. Which happened. But then the following ended up happening as well:

- Had a few drinks, and went over to The Saloon (twink/vanilla gay bar) in my full leathers
- Got in a fight with a drunk, combative twink who was trying to start drama
- Found and caught up with my leather friend, BlackLeatherChazz 
- Together with PupTrigger, stood up for my leather brother, WillCo68, when said twink tried to start even MORE drama
- Got winked at by Janice Dickenson (yes, the real, celebrity Janice Dickenson was at The Saloon) in my full leathers. She was so drunk her gays were holding her up; she'll never remember anything from last night
- Went home with, and fisted WillCo68, only to wake up naked, hung over, covered in dried sweat, dirt, cum, piss, and j-lube and laying next to a similarly naked indigenous person.

So my night went from holiday party with santa hats and Christmas decorations to leathers to fighting with angry twinks to random celebrity encounters to really hot kinky sex and a glorius morning after.

Have I yet mentioned that I fucking LOVE Minneapolis?

And on that note.....Mr/s Twin Cities Leather is coming up in February! That's right. This year, Twin Cities Leather will be holding TWO contests so that we can send representation to both IML and IMsL! How sweet is that?? Last year's event was a huge success and well attended. I'm soooooo pumped for the whole thing this year!

This event in my hometown has great appeal for people who are looking for a smaller, low cost event with more of a "family" "local" community feel to it. Holiday spending keeping you from going to MAL? Well think about flying out and having a fun, action packed, yet low-key time with your leather friends and family in Minneapolis! Check out the pictures on Leatherati Live to see pics from last year's event and also search through for my live blogging to get a preview of the awesomeness to come!

And if you're from anywhere in the 5 states region (North Dakota, South Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa) you should consider being a contestant! Running for a title is a life changing experience. Don't be afraid of not having a voice before you compete; you'll probably find it along the way. Enter the contest and be our proud representative at IML or IMsL!

All the information and application is on http://www.mrtcl.org/. Events will be occuring February 15th through 20th, look at the calendar for more details! I really hope I see a lot of you there!

What I want for Christmas

This post is way late in coming. I've been off the road now for about a month, sort of. I had my last NACA convention, NACA Mid-America, about a month ago. Ever since, I've been catching up on hours at work, sending follow up e-mails, and I made a five day trip to St. Louis to visit family for the holidays. So I was kind of excited for things to slow down just a tad by getting off the road for a month, but I guess it didn't really happen. It's really fine though, I like stayinig busy and chaotic.

It's hard to believe I'm done going to the NACA conventions for a while. What a ride it was. Mid-America was great in Cincinnati. Lots of schools, lots of connections, and lots of leads. The whole thing was great just because of the incredible enthusiasm all the students showed. Going to NACA overall helped me grow as a person to; I've been able to find my own voice as a speaker, a kinkster, and a blogger. But NACA Mid-America was extra special for one very cool reason. It led me to become introduced to the students at University of Missouri - St. Louis, and in the end, I have a booking with them!

If you're an UMSL student, be sure to come and see me on January 25th, 7pm, at the Pilot House in the Millenium Student Center. It'll be very exciting to get to perform at UMSL, being a St. Louis native. Check out the Facebook Event here.

A special shout out/thank you to Jmat for helping me out at NACA Mid-America, being my cheauffer, and letting me stay at his place in Cincinnati during the convention. Oh yeah, and for helping me avert disaster when I had a latexplosion.

So it's Thursday night, at NACA. We had set up our booth earlier in the day, I'd been wearing my Mr. S Rubber jeans most of the night. Had dinner with Bowling Green State U in my latex and then jetted off to the booth to put some finishing touches on it. Overhead, the Marketplace coordinator announces, "Attention Associates, the Marketplace will be opening in one minute." Thank you, one minute. I squatted down to grab a breathmint from a box that I had hidden under my table. I was squatting for a total of about 6 seconds when the back end of my pants SNAPPED and I felt air hit my bare ass crack!

I immediately stood up and turned my back to the aisle and backed up against the rear curtain/wall of my booth. Smiling, trying not to panic, I said to Jmat with a quiver in my voice, "Oooooh no! We have a problem! A big one!"

"What?" he says, stopping whatever he was doing. Then he sees me clutching my ass, and like a good producer, starts laughing at me and takes a picture before helping.

Next is the panic of what to do. What do we do what do we do what do we do! And then of course the announcer comes over the speakers, "Attention Associates, the marketplace is now OPEN!" Perfect timing. Random Associates applaud. I'm still smiling because it's hilarious that my ass is hanging out, but secretly envisioning being thrown out of NACA and banned forever for being indecent in the marketplace. Bear in mind, this was the only thing I wore/brought with me to the marketplace; I didn't really have any recourse!

Jmat, being the calm, cool, collected Producer that he is, came up with a solution. He took my grey bandanna, which I had been wearing on my left arm to flag, and stuffed it down the newly created crack in my jeans:

See the students walking by in the aisle? ARGH! This was the first marketplace of the weekend! There was no time to mourn the damage to the pants or express any anger. I had to keep that smile pasted on and try to pitch/sell myself to students as if nothing was wrong. That was a new challenge for me. I took a few pics with some random students who asked for them...all the time keeping my back to them.

Marketplace closes. It was pretty successful, and I don't think anyone noticed my ass hanging out. Thank god. Jmat drives me back to his place, where we promptly have a toast to the fallen rubber jeans.

*le sigh* Please keep in mind how tight those jeans fit on me (or rather, used to fit on me). As I stood there for over an hour, unable to change and no time to take them off, the tightness of the latex hugging my theighs made the rip worse, and worse, and worse. Here's a pic of how they look now, and I have to say, I think that they're beyond repair. The rip goes all the way from the beltloop down the ass just next to the seam and nearly completely splits through the seam in the crotch. I can't believe it almost broke through a double layered glued seam.

 

And there you have it. This could be the end of the Mr. S Rubber jeans. Kinda sucks, I only had them for a little over a year. Granted, they are/were one of my favorite pieces of latex and I wore them quite a bit in that year, but come on. I think they should have/could have lasted a little longer than just one year. 

Oh yeah, and I forgot the kicker of the story. That night we went out to The Serpent in Cincinnati, which is their leather/kink bar. While we were out there, my Mr. S shirt snapped! ARGH! Two pieces in one day!

It's just as well that it happened when it did; November to March is definitely the OFF season for latex in Minneapolis. Too damn cold. But it looks like I'm going to need a new pair of latex pants. Any suggestions on vendors? I love Mr. S, but after my catsuit exploding, these pants AND my shirt exploding, I'm probably a bit more hesitant to buy from them in the future. I support Mr. S and everything they do, and I love their bondage gear and their leathers a lot! But grrrrr. Three pieces gone now. 

So, suggestions on a new vendor? And don't say "EBay". I'm forever banned from using Paypal, hence EBay is pretty much not an option.

It's all I want for Christmas!

 

PS: It's Gear Night at the Minneapolis Eagle tonight! I'll be there for the first time in what seems like FOREVER. Get your gear on and see you there!

MIR Recap

OMG. It was fabulous.

I arrived on Thursday night and immediately met a flurry of activity. I stopped by the community center to speak to a friend of mine and saw the set up activities.  Those vendors and the Chicago rubbermen were working hard.

Friday was a fabulous kick off to the kink market. It was really very full! Lots of vendors around selling their rubber wear from around the world. I particularly enjoyed the display by Full Kit Gear of Boston, MA. Unfortunately they don't have a store website up yet, but I really enjoyed their color variations on blue, red, green...their latex was very unique! I'll definitely be keeping up with their website to see when they've posted a store.  RECON also debuted their new line of signature latex, which honestly, looked pretty hot! TLS and E7 were there as well showing their always fabulous wear.

One of my favorite parts of the kink market is the demo pit, including gear provided by KinkRubber. RubberKai was the demo pit coordinator this year, and he did a fabulous job of starting and maintaining scenes, encouraging people to try something new, and keep the energy levels high.  RubberKai is also a member of the Chicago Rubbermen, whom, by the way, I cannot say enough about! The members of that group pour a lot of their time and energy into producing an absolutely amazing event, and to dedicate the amount of time and energy they have deserves a gigantic rubber Thank You from all of us.

After wandering, shopping, meeting up with old friends, trying on a few pieces of gear, and having a beverage or two, I was off to the Greet the Meat cocktail party prior to the first half of the contest on Friday night.  It was a lot of fun to get to see some of the contestants that I competed with last year, like a little reunion.  After a few drinks, the contestants all drew their numbers to determine their order of competition on stage.

The Friday Night contest included the Rubber Image portion (also known as the runway walk) and the return of everyone's favorite, the Wet Rubber contest! I'm so glad they brought back wet rubber. I didn't get to do it as I competed last year, but it was so fun to see all those hot boys on stage, having their rubber fantasies read while they posed and looked delicious under a shower in the community center.

And speaking of contestants, I have to say, this year's pool was really great! Some very hot, well accomplished guys.  8 of them, all of them were titleholders.  There would have been 9 contestants, however, Roger mentioned to me that Mr. Rubber Netherlands couldn't get a visa to get out of the country, despite having a passport. Sounds like a major paperwork fail. :(

For more details about the contest or the individual performances, you should look at my live blogging on Leatherati Live.

After the contest this year, there was a "Strict Rubber Dresscode" party, aka play party, at a private 3,000 sq. ft. dungeon in an undisclosed location. THAT was definitely a blast. Lots to do, lots of people to meet and do. I really hope they do this again next year, because it was totally epic and something that I think a lot of guys missed.

After I stumbled out of bed on Saturday morning, I went up to the kink market to do a demo with PupSkoll. I mummified him for the crowd, and let Kai drag him all around the vendor market on a tour. :) Shortly after this got done with, there was the annual puppy rumpus, which is always a blast to watch. I think there were about 9 or 10 pups in the pit, with several different handlers around taking good care of their dogs.

I couldn't stay and watch that long because I participated in a panel discussion at 3pm with PupNitro of Atlanta and RubberCannuck of Vancouver, on the topic of "Building Communities".  Both of these other two panelists have a great amount of experience with bringing new and curious members in and making them feel welcome, and even though it was only scheduled thorugh 4pm, we continued to speak amongst ourselves as well as the attendees until around 4:45.  We had too many good ideas flowing, it was great to have that kind of energy!

I grabbed a quick bite and got a rubber massage by the masseur in the vendor market, and then I was off to the Leather Cocktails/Black Carpet affair before the contest on Saturday night.  Cocktails was uneventful, but still very relaxing. :)  The contest on Saturday was fantastic.  The contestants and Roger performed a parody of Lady Gaga's "Alejandro".  Anything I might write about it won't be doing it justice, so I'm just going to pass and allow you all to wait until the video comes out in the coming weeks.  It. Was. Epic.  

I live blogged the contest on Saturday night which went swimmingly. The two portions this night were the onstage question which all contestants had to answer, and they all did a spectacular job. The next portion included the "Mystery Bag".  Each contestant had to make up a kink scene on the spot, using everyday objects from a bag they had to choose at random. Can I just take a moment to say that I love the contest? It's so entertaining. I blogged my rubber fingers off so if you want more specific details, check out Leatherati Live.

I love our winner.  Si Hands is a great rubberman from the UK, our first ever winner from the UK.  He even came to my panel discussion earlier about building communities.  His passion for this rubber life shows through and through. And he's really hot too!

Afterward, I went to Jackhammer/the Hole for the RECON party. I really can't say enough about the staff/bouncers at Jackhammer. They were kicking out people in cotton to make more room for the rubberboys waiting once the line started to get long. The party was crowded, well attended, and there, my details will cease. A fox doesn't kiss and tell. ;)

Sunday, I again rolled out of bed and made my way back to the vendor market. I made it just in time for the Lube Wrestling contest and got to say some goodbyes to some dear friends. It's always so sad to say goodbye; the weekend goes by way too fast. Some of these rubber family I only see once a year and having to say goodbye to them makes me kinda sad, but we'll all be here to do it again next year.

And on that note, congratulations to MIR for being in their 15th anniversary! In the intermission of the contest on Friday night, they served complimentary champagne to toast this milestone birthday. Here's my toast: "Here's to 15 years of rubber contests, and here's to another 15 years, so I can STILL be coming here before I turn 45!"

The vendor market closed, I cried a little, and then I was off to SIdetrack for slushies, rubber showtunes, friends, goodbyes, gay music, and fun.  *le sigh* I always wish they would play a bit younger music there. I don't care if it makes me a bad gay, but I don't know most of the songs that they play. :(

I had a beautiful end to a beautiful weekend at a play party in the apartment with one of my good friends. I met him when he was 19 and he went to one of my workshops at MBLGTACC.  Just a few years later, he's been to IML, MIR, and hosting play parties. I couldn't be prouder.

To everyone who came and made the weekend a fantastic time, thank you. It just shows how many of us there are from all corners of the world! To everyone who couldn't make it, stand strong kinksters! Hope my recap was enough to convince you that attending would be a good idea for next year. :)  MIR was my first big event I ever went to 4 years ago, and I go back every year now. I'm so happy to be a part of a rubber family. 

With that, it was over, and I'm already missing it.  Is it November 2012 yet?

#MIRrumors!

So here's an idea.  Besides viewing my live coverage on Leatherati, check out this twitter app here and keep updated on all the MIR drama.  Tweet your MIR rumor here, with hashtag #MIRrumors !

 

MIR!!

OMFG, I'm finally here!

I worked 6 shifts last week, including two shifts of overtime.  Busy busy boy.  But finally, FINALLY I'm here in Chicago and getting ready to enjoy an amazing weekend at MIR!

I'll be liveblogging this weekend for Leatherati, so check out my coverage there!

Kick your Heels Up

The question I've been asked over and over again at these NACA Trade Shows I've been attending is, "What exactly are your speeches about?" This question is usually asked by the college student or adviser with the crinkled forehead and unsure smile, half curious, and half afraid of my answer. Which brings me to the point; why am I here doing this at all?

At the root of the question is the reason why people who are kinky, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation, feel as though they can't explore that side of themselves. This is a subject which I refer to as "kink shame". I'm lucky enough to have been born and lived without ever feeling the guilt or shame associated with being turned on by something a bit alternative in the bedroom; my friends never fail to remind me that not everyone is lucky enough to have lived this way. Before someone can explore this whole side of themselves, they have to be able to accept and affirm it for themselves first. In this way, becoming kinky or practicing kink requires a process similar to coming out. This leads me to my philosophy on kink in general - being kinky is as much a part of someone's sexual identity as their orientation is.

So you have to come out to yourself as kinky, yeah? It's a kind of second coming out to those of us who are gay or lesbian. When I think about the world of BDSM, leather, rubber, etc. I truly believe that by total volume, there are more straight kinky people in the world than there are gay kinky people, but among those separate orientations, the proportion of kinky straight people, by percentage, is probably SMALLER than kinky gay people. Kink is a much bigger part of gay culture than it is of being straight. Why?

Because we don't have to leap that far.

Gay men have always had a sort of fun and airy attitude toward sex than straight people, in large part because for us, having sex, even vanilla sex, is a true rebellion against the societal norm we are constantly judged against. It's exactly the thing that we are oppressed over and the thing that the haters hate us for. In the words of Margaret Cho, "If you're oppressed over who you fuck, you're gonna kick up your heels and FUCK!" Making things even easier for us is the fact that gay men already came out once. To do so again, over our kinks, isn't as far of a leap to jump in most cases.

Straight people don't have this luxury afforded to them. They aren't oppressed over who they fuck, it's just over HOW they fuck. Missionary position is still the expectation among most straight people. Anything different makes you (supposedly) deviant, wrong, and mentally ill. Coming to terms with being kinky is the first time a straight person will likely struggle with this kind of conflict in his/her life. This oppression, the oppression that a gay man has already overcome, is enough to make a straight person retreat back into the kinky closet and attempt to ignore that part of him/herself for a few more years. Out, gay men have the foresight to know that ignoring it won't make it go away. Couple this with a lack of prevalent resources (there is nothing as prominent for straight kinksters as Recon, Gearfetish, or Manhunt are for gay men), and it's easy to see why the proportion of kinky gays is bigger than the proportion of kinky straights.

So why am I trying to do these speeches?

Sometimes the biggest contributing factor to someone's comfort level with themselves is seeing precisely that quality in others around them. Living with a quality that you think makes you think you're mentally ill is an unhealthy way to lead your life. No one should have to carry that burden, and no longer should we have to carry that burden ourselves. Remember when that lawyer got fired in New York a few weeks ago? The only way unfair treatment like that will stop is for all kinksters in the world to stand up and say, "STOP, this is wrong." The kinkster who's in the closet won't do that. The one who feels empowered and belongs to a community is not only leading a fulfilling, joyous life, but will also feel empowered enough in themselves to stand up along with us as we chant, "STOP, this is wrong." And one day, we'll be able to live in a world where we don't have to use fake names and we don't have to be scared of losing our jobs because of what we do behind closed doors.

Instilling confidence in those who feel powerless helps individuals, groups, as well as the kinky community as a whole. The way to do it is to teach people that it's okay to love yourself, enjoy and express your kinks, and not to fear dancing to the rhythm of your life.

Because if there's one thing I know how to do well, it's kick up my heels.

NACA - The Journey so Far

Yeah, I'd say I was right in my previous post.  My life HAS changed forever.  

I thought I would just meet maybe one or two schools at each conference and see if I could get a little bit of interest, and talk to some people here or there...I wasn't really expecting anything major, and if anything, I was expecting to be somewhat outcast and not so wholly embraced.  Boy was I wrong.

Everyone, NACA, the schools, their advisers, the hotel, and everyone in between was truly and honestly interested.  People were friendly, I never heard one negative comment, and I got a ton of really great leads and contact information.

In the last week, I:

Was up by 8 and not in bed until after 1,
Wore latex for 16 hours per day for 6 days,
Met students or staff at over 40 schools,
Handed out 150 biographies and 200 business cards,
Shook about 170 hands,
Maintained my sanity, somehow.

Despite all the good things, I did watch a few unfortunate circumstances. A couple campus delegates had some arguments over whether or not bringing a kink-positive speaker to their campus was a good idea.  All I can say is, stand strong kinksters!  It may not be today or tomorrow or next month or next year, but one day at a time, we can change the world.  Your campus too will be able to accept who you are one day.

That hasn't gotten me down though. The leads I've gotten and the positive feedback has been so strong that despite my physical exhaustion, I'm pumped to move on to Tulsa for Central, and to Covington for Mid-America!  Even other vendors who'd been going to NACA for 30 years came up to me and mentioned how nice it was that I was bringing something truly different to the marketplace, and some even just told me "Thank you" for everything I was doing.  It was incredible.

So if I've learned anything from this experience so far, it's that there IS a market for this. People are curious, but scared. But on some level, my faith has been reaffirmed that people have an innate sense of integrity, which they can use to read your genuines. I went to NACA for the right reasons. It shined through, people listened to me, and slowly, I remembered that for others to believe what I'm saying, I must first believe in myself.

I work one shift at the hospital tonight (Tuesday) and then turn around and fly off to Tulsa on Thursday morning, early.  Here we go again....