So I've been a scootch bit busy lately, what with NACA conventions coming up in just one short month (AAAAHHH OMG!). But I want to keep you all engaged and present, so we're going to try something new! Here is a guest post, written by my best friend and leather brother, WillCo68 aka Karri Plowman.
To quote Shakespeare, "Can one desire too much of a good thing?"
I’ve been thinking about this sentiment a lot lately, especially after my most recent experience with a new and curious kinkster. I started a conversation with Tynan and he encouraged me to write and submit a blog to him. Being Tynan Fox’s brother…you can imagine I’ve had my fair share of fun in the scene. For those of you that are curious…just read through his blogs regarding the Indigenous person (like this one).
Let me set the context. This summer I started to think that I was having too much sex and playing in an unhealthy manner. Not "unsafe" mind you, but mentally I was doing more and more to push my limits and challenge myself. The dirtier, the kinkier, the odder, the better. Each time it was taking more and more to get me off or allow me to shift into the head space I wanted.
I’m a vers, and while I tend to bottom more than top - especially if it comes to fisting - I started creating scenario’s where I could top and/or dominate just to have a different experience. The one that ended it was when I allowed a cute non-kink guy to wear my leathers and gear in the bedroom after coming home from the bar, the whole time ignoring the fact that my room began to reek of cologne and hair gel, just so I can watch this non-kink boy in chaps. At that point I realized he was treating my gear as dress up and a joke.
I love my leather life, it saved me…and I’ve been lucky to live out and proud in leather for several years. But in that minute, my life became a punch line. Luckily I have great leather brothers in both Tynan Fox and Pup Trigger who recognized my confusion, and intervened with me. So I took the last two months off from having sex.
Now we come to the current situation and impetus for this blog. I just had vanilla sex!!
Yes, after two months more or less, I met a wonderful guy, spent a couple of days having great conversation(s) regarding leather, fashion, kink, you name it. Bear in mind, he is young and slightly inexperienced... and to be honest? I never intended to have sex with him at first. I’m always willing to help and offer advice to the new members of our community. It was just nice to meet a guy who was interested in our scene and shared some similar aesthetics as me.
But something happened and all directions indicated we would end up sleeping together. I won’t betray his trust regarding all the details, but I will say since he is new to our kink world we ended up having vanilla sex. No alcohol, no poppers, and no gear or toys. Just two men exploring one another.
I don’t think I have been more turned on, and more excited, in MONTHS. To use a vulgar expression “I was so hard you would have needed a tire tool to put a condom on me.”
Did you ever have the circumstance where you overate something as a kid? Jello, chips, cookies, something that ended up making you sick? For me it was Capt’n Cruch Berry Cereal. I won’t go into the details, but if it’s red going in, it’s pink on the way out. Consequently, I can’t eat Capt’n Cruch to this day. Never will again. In some ways, I did the same thing with my physical life and I over indulged in the kink lifestyle. I had reached a point that it was so boring because I overindulged. Now this may sound like "wah-wah-woe-is-me" moment to some of the readers who don’t get to play as often as they would like. Yes, I get it. I’m complaining about having too much kink in my life. But if you haven’t put two and two together, not only is this my life, but kink is my profession with Twin Cities Leather. Sex is what I think about everyday as a job PLUS on my personal time. It can become overwhelming, and honestly it did.
I needed the intimacy one finds with a man. I needed to be revived. I needed to just laugh and remember the reason I love leather and kink - to remember that its base is in the love for men. Their smell, their feel, the heat and passion that we can generate. I also needed to remember that good old fashioned vanilla sex can sometimes be one of the most healing things in the world. Vanilla ice cream on a hot summer’s day is just as sweet as chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream on the couch in December. It doesn’t need all the extras, because in that one moment, it is wonderful.
I don't know if this makes sense or will help anyone, but if I had to put a moral to the story, it's that too much of a good thing can be bad. If you need an epilogue, it's that all I can do is smile. I feel healthier and happier then I have in a long time.
We shall see what happens next with the guy. I’m not jinxing anything; I know at the least I just added another great friend to my life.
These insights are precisely the reason why this man is my brother. ~Fox