Kink is not multiplied vanilla

I feel we need to make a whole "Notice to the Public" about what kink is, and what kink is not.  

Please let me be clear though in the first place: I'm very sex positive.  I think that for the most part, if it feels good, you should not be inhibited to try it, experiment with it, etc (with the exception, of course, of committing sexual assault against a child or otherwise non-consenting victim).  I'm not a hater, and I think that if people like to have sex parties, then they should have them and enjoy them.

But just because I'm kinky doesn't mean I get into anything and everything.

My kink is somewhat well known in the Twin Cities.  I run around with a lot of kinksters and I haven't exactly been very discrete about what I like to do in the bedroom.  There are these guys who have these sex parties/orgies in Minneapolis once a month or every other month.  They're pretty well attended; I think their last one had 30 or 40 guys at it.  Most of the activities there are vanilla, regular sex.  And that's fine if it's what people like.

My irritation, however, is that lots of guys think that if you're into one kink even a little, then you must be into EVERYTHING.  Which, I must say, just isn't true.  Orgies annoy me.  Especially when they're all vanilla.  These guys do have a sling, yes, but I think they just have it for simplicity sake.  It's easier to get fucked on.  Fine.  It wouldn't be so bad, honestly, if the two guys who throw these parties wouldn't keep hounding me to show up to one.  No matter how many times I've mentioned that I'm not interested, they just assume it must turn me on because I get a little bit kinky.

Bottom line?  I'd rather have kinky sex with one person than vanilla sex with 20 people.

That's not just for me, either.  Kink belongs to the person who has it.  It's different for everyone.  Maybe these two guys have a thing for orgies and group sex.  Generally speaking, I don't.  Not everyone's kink is the same as your kink.  It's easy to forget that sometimes.

Consider this a public notice.

Comments

[Reid]

Great observation, mister!

[Nicholas Gervais]

This is where the exclusivity argument comes in at IML, and every year its the same damn conversation. The nature of the kink community to those standing outside of it is far too easily seen as represented by anyone wearing a harness.

The rest of us, who have some specific applications in kink get lumped into that mould. This is why typically I do not like playing with people who "I dunno, I just like to experiment." Of course it is their right, of course they are entitled to play, however, each time I cross that line with one of them the seriousness of what I do becomes a dividing factor.

Very nicely posted Tynan.

[Cheap Louis Vuitton]

EO EO EO EO ..... AND I DON'T KONW FIND MY STAR....WHERE IS OUR STORY STAR....

[Reid]

I've been asked (or rejected) many times with the question, "so do you ever have regular sex?", implying that I can only perform and MUST have rubber present in every sexual encounter that I have. It's really strange how people think, especially when they have no clue...