Masculinity

I've never really considered myself to be much of a "manly man", if you understand my meaning.

As I'm constantly reminded by my friends in this kink world, I've got plenty of "manhood" in between my legs. 

As far as actual masculinity goes, however, I can't say I've ever had much of that.  Ever since childhood on forward, it's been tough for me to "be a man".  I've always found more pleasure in doing things with girls or whatever else.  Even now, I consider myself to be more of a "gay boy" than anything else.

But ever since I posted about being flogged a couple weeks ago, I've gotten more comments that I'm more of a "man".  But I've always been amazed at how all of the kink, leather, and bdsm lifestyle is considered so "masculine", since at the root of it all, it is a rather gay experience - that is, men having sex with men.  But is that "manly"?

Why not?  Why shouldn't it be?  As my partner will testify, I've always thought that two men having sex with each other is and always will be the ultimate display of masculinity.  To be so much of a man that you can actually love have sex with one and love it.  Perhaps even more than just the sexual end, but also the emotional side.  To be so much of a man that you can love one.

Perhaps it was a rather "manly" moment for me.  To be reduced to those primal urges and be forced to yell, etc.  But on the surface, I'm still more of a "gay boy".  I still watch Project Runway.  I still don't have any facial hair or wear any leather (although the latter may be because I just can't afford it). 

So what really makes a man a "man"?  Am I a man?  A boy?  A gay boy?  A young man?  A guy?

Is what makes me a man also what makes me a fox?

~Tynan

Comments

[gyesika]

I'm going to caveat this with the info that I'm a straight, mostly vanilla, female, (which makes me sound so square, I'm cubed. Which isn't accurate.) so who knows the validity of my opinion on this issue.

However, most of the truly "manly" men I have known exhibit few, if any, of the default world's definitions of masculinity. Gay, straight, bear, twink, kink, vanilla, old young, white or black, didn't matter. But what every single one of them has had, without fail, is courage. Courage to be themselves, know themselves and not be a raging asshole to others in an attempt to define themselves. It's also really hot.

I just found this blog (thanks Dan Savage) and I would say from what I've read, yeah, you're a man.

[Tynan Fox]

Thanks for the kind words...nice to know I have at least one fan! :)

[Nicki]

Courage....yes! Thank you, dear commenter, for putting the perfect word into my head as I read this!